“What’s it matter to you, man?” Rishi finally cracks a little, annoyance rising in his voice. Are they going to fight over me?
“I’m her best friend,” Jae stands up, grabbing his drink.
“You set us up!” Rishi exclaims.
“Not so you could fuck her!” Jae snaps.
“Hey!” I shout, and before I can react any further, Jae’s drink is splattered all over the front of Rishi’s shirt. Trixie grabs her purse, and makes a beeline for the door.
“What the fuck, Jae?” Rishi asks with a suppressed laugh. “Who said anything about that?”
“I kissed her first!” Jae blurts.
I can’t take this anymore. I push Jae’s arm off, and shove him out of the booth.
“Oh, fuck…Riley, I’m sorry—” Jae says.
I push my way through the crowd towards the exit. I step out into the night, and take a giant breath. I don’t know what to think about any of this. Jae just wanted to protect me, right? I pull my hands over my face, trying to process what just happened.
Bandito’s door swings open, and Jae sees me immediately. “Look, Riley, I’m sorry,”
“No, no, go away,” I wave him off.
“Rishi and I talked, we’re okay—” Jae says. “He’s not upset about me ruining everything.”
“Did you ever think that you ruined it forme?” This is not the considerate, attentive man I’ve come to know. “Clearly my expectations were too high.” I break eye contact. I’m angry but I don’t want to burn this bridge down to the ground.
Jae doesn’t have anything to say to me, other than, “I’m sorry, Riley,” but I don’t want to hear it. I’m feeling more upset than angry, and I’m perpetually worried I might cry. I take a huge, clown sized breath and hold it in. Upset that Jae is jealous over me.
“Go away, I repeat.
“I’ll call you tonight?” Jae asks, and I shake my head.
“Not tonight—not right now,” I say, and Jae takes off down the street. I gather myself, and meet Rishi back at our table, and he’s flushed in the face, mostly dry and well recovered.
“Hey,” Rishi croaks out.
“So, I hear you’re a doctor,”
Rishi chokes out a beleaguered laugh. “No shit, Riley.”
I crack a smile back at him, my face spiraling into something unrecognizable from a few moments ago. His frank response makes me think it’ll be okay.
“Wanna get out of here?” He asks.
“Where did you have in mind?” I’m determined to not let Jae ruin this date.
“A drink?” Rishi smiles. “At a different bar?”
After taking me to his favorite dive-bar in the East Village, Rishi walks me to the front door of my apartment building. I feel content and happy. There is no element of force or feign.
Standing on the stoop, Rishi takes my hand and pulls me softly, suavely, into a goodbye kiss.Flattering. By any standard, his kiss is perfect. Not forceful, not urgent.
But the butterflies aren’t there. It isn’t until I picture Jae being the one to kiss me, even after tonight, that I’m moved.
I break the kiss with a step backward and a bashful, “Thank you for everything,” and go inside without so much as a goodbye, I’ll text you! I hurriedly burst into the stairwell, feeling rotten, not being able to tell if I’m upset that I let another man kiss me that wasn’t Grant—or Jae.
I climb the three flights of stairs up to my apartment, eager to wash away whatever feelings of loathing and despair and grief that might taint an otherwise good evening. Turning the corner of the hallway, I’m greeted by something unexpected at my doorstep.
