I give Jae the best death-glare I can muster. How can I like him and still be annoyed with him?
My day goes by much faster than I would like. I spend most of the morning finishing painting cherry blossoms, and I am once again lost in my own little world. In a city so big, I still often find myself the loneliest one here, and when you feel like a temporary visitor in your own home, it's enormously comforting to have the home of artwork to visit.
I wish I had been able to take refuge in art more often than I did when Grant died. I felt like I was constantly at battle with everyone and myself.
It wasn’t until group therapy that it hit me: Grief isn’t everything you are. No matter how badly you don’t want to live, you have to. You must go on and feel the pain of life. And at least today isn’t yesterday and tomorrow won’t be today.
It was excruciating getting to this point, but as I look at the beautiful cherry blossoms, I’m glad to be standing before them.
If I thought grief is excruciating, well, getting ready for my real date with a real guy, not from an app,thatis excruciating. I want it to be over and done with. I consider canceling, but don’t want to deal with Jae’s ribbing later on. I’m going to get a ribbing no matter what I do.
I struggle to pick out an outfit as I really only have a few suitable dresses—one of which I’ve already worn to my practice date with Jae. I opt for the green sundress that Grant picked out for me a few years ago. Surely, a dead man wouldn’t mind me wearing this dress for someone else.
After my shower, I make sure to put in an ample amount of curl cream in my hair to make my curls bouncy and lush rather than their usual loose format. I hold my hair up in a ponytail and tie it with a velvet ribbon. I put on the tiniest bit of mascara, hoping it makes my eyes look less tired.
I pull two curls from my ponytail to frame my face and pucker my lips in the mirror as if to say, yes.
Someonecouldkiss me tonight.
And it won’t be Jae.
I deem myself acceptable and pat Lily for good luck. The subway ride to my date is even more excruciating than getting ready for it. When I enter Banditos, the restaurant bustlesaround me. I see a young girl, maybe sixteen or seventeen years old at the hostess desk. I approach her nervously.
“Hi. I’m meeting someone here…table under ... Jae Cho?” I wring my hands out of her view.
“Oh?” She checks a name in a black notebook. “Yeah, follow me.”
The hostess leads me to a private, intimate corner of the restaurant I haven’t sat in yet, and she lets me know that when Rishi arrives, she’ll send him my way. Is it tacky that I got here before him? Should I have waited outside? Does it make a difference?
It really doesn’t, because in a heartbeat, a tall and handsome man appears in front of me with a gentle smile, his deep brown skin glowing in the dim light of the restaurant. He towers well over the table and is dressed in a navy-blue sweater vest. He looks like…like a hot professor.
“Hi there, I’m Rishi,” His voice is deep and melodic.Swoon.He takes a seat across from me, his golden topaz eyes meeting my own. “You look absolutely gorgeous, by the way.”
My face is most certainly a deep shade of pink. “Hi there back. I’m Riley.” I stutter and fumble over my words like a basketball. “It was nice of Jae to introduce us.” I want to hide myself under my arms, but I keep my hands at my sides.
“It was, wasn’t it? I don’t know why he wouldn’t keep a beautiful girl like you to himself.” Rishi gives me a pearly white smile. Not a coffee stain on them in sight.
“Ah, thank you,” I take a sip of my water, not knowing how to accept the compliment. I’ve never received so many compliments in a row. Rishi somehow manages to flag down the hostess, and orders a drink.
“Do you want anything?”
“No, water is just fine for me,” I say. “So, have you eaten here before?” I ask Rishi.
“I have. Jae and I were college roommates.” Rishi answers with a sly smile. “And we’d come here for drinks after class.”
“Oh, so I bet you know all of his dirty secrets, then?” I’m intrigued. But I don’t want to spend my date talking about Jae. I’m supposed to be distracting myself from him.
“Yes, I know more about him than I ever wanted to know.” Rishi gives me a nod as he takes a sip of his own water. “But enough of Jae. He tells me you’re a painter.”
“I am. I’m painting the mural at his restaurant.” I smile. “I can show you a photo if you want.”
“Ah, so that’s how you two met,”
“Actually, Jae lives in my old apartment, and that’s how we met.” I clarify a little too willingly.
“Really? You guys have quite the…meet cute.” Rishi hesitates before finishing his sentence just as the waitress arrives back with a plate of crostinis.
“These are from this gentleman over there.” She says, and points to a dark-haired man sitting at the bar.
