“Deal.”
I unlock my phone, open the dating app, and set it in front of Jae. He picks it up and begins thumbing through my photos, presumably.
The first is me in my old studio in SoHo, painter’s apron on, palette in hand.The second one is right after I had a fresh haircut. Third, I’m posing for the camera in a yellow sundress. Fourth, I’m holding Lily in my arms.
“This is your dog?” Jae asks.
“Lily,” I nod.
“This is a cute dress,” Jae remarks blankly.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Thoroughly embarrassed, I hold my hand out for my phone.
“Just a sec. One more second please,” Jae begs me, his mischievous smile returning.
“What are you doing?” His thumbs are clearly not just swiping through photos.
“I’m just helping you.”
“Helping me? Don’t touch my profile.”
He peeks at me from around my phone. “I’mhelpingyou. You need it.”
“My pictures are fine!” I snap at him. “I didn’t give you permission to touch my profile!”
“I’m not touching your photos! You have like…two matches, Riley! Your profile clearly needs some help.”
“What are you doing? Give me my phone!” The urgency is growing in my mind, but I try to keep it cool. I reach for my phone, but Jae’s grip remains ironclad.
He swats my slippery hands away. “I updated your location settings from one mile to ten miles.”
“Give me my phone. I don’t want the free dinner.” I’m only half joking.
“Okay, okay, someone’s serious,.” Jae relinquishes the phone. “Please, fix your bio next. though,”
“What are you talking about?” The seriousness from my voice is gone, now lilted with concern for my bio. I worked so hard on it.
Reserved woman seeks a funny, college-educated man who lives alone, down for uncomplicated romancing. Pets OK. Call me whenever!
Everyone seemed to have some kind of gimmick on this app. I wanted to go for something quirky but upfront. Is this how people did this? I met Grant in college. I didn’t have to use a dating app.
“Do you not want to get laid?” He smirks and I’m startled by his bluntness.
“I don’t want to get laid.” I set the phone on the table.
“Riley, come on. What the fuck is this?” Jae snatches my phone up immediately. “You can’t have this.”
“What?” I ask in earnest. “What’s wrong with it?”
“It’s not a 1960s personal ad. You don’t need to include the times of day you’re available to contact.” He barks out a laugh and reads my bio aloud. “Are you even from this century? Did you even look at other people’s profiles?”
I cringe with embarrassment. I did not look at other people’s profiles. He probably thinks I’m a total loser. Which I most definitely am, but don’t want Jae to rub it in my face.
“Must live alone?” Jae started tapping furiously, presumably at the delete button. “Are you an ax murderer?”
“I don’t want someone who lives with his mother.”
I rounded the table to sit next to him. I peered over his shoulder. He twiddled his thumbs over the keyboard.
