So I lower myself back onto the pillow. My glasses are placed back on the nightstand. I pull the blanket higher. The warmth remedies in increments along my arms, regulating some of the tension I haven’t fully dispelled.
My mind starts to form hypotheses, but I shut them down one by one. Analysis requires data. I’m lacking all of it.
Instead, I go to the thought that calms my system fastest—Idris telling me the time before I asked, Idris prioritizing my rest, and Idris standing at my door, between me and the rest of the world.
My breathing evens out. The remaining tension resolves itself from my muscles.
I’ll wake at my usual time, one hour and fifty-nine minutes from now. Soon, I’ll know more, and perhaps then, I’ll be more useful.
I close my eyes. Sleep returns much more quickly than I expect with their scents lingering in the air of my quarters.
***
My morning’s off before it even starts. I wake up again without Idris. I shower without him as well. I dress without feeling his eyes on me.I go about my morning without him making sure I’ve slept enough or eaten enough.
Breakfast is quiet without him talking to me. I drink my tea, but the flavor of ginger is stronger than usual. It doesn’t calm my stomach. Idris informed me I’m most likely seasick. I countered that it may be the Kys that I’m taking. He assured me that he was intentional with putting together the compound. But today, nothing feels right since my routine is wrong.
The ship drones as it always does, but it doesn’t calm my nerves. Normally, Idris and I would be walking together to the first meeting of the day. Today, his side of the hallway is empty.
By the time I’m at the door to the captain’s room, my tablet’s pressed tightly to my chest. I loosen my grip before the door opens.
Inside, Idris and Darius stand over the central table. Their postures are stiff, angled toward the speakerphone set between them. The green light blinks.
I take a few steps in, stopping when neither of them looks up right away.
“Good morning, Em,” Idris says, head down and eyes focused on the blinking light.
Darius lifts his eyes first. “We’re waiting for Father to return to the call,” he explains.
I straighten my spine, feeling a chill. The mention of their father affects me in such a way. Even my breathing changes, and I make a deliberate correction that doesn’t quite work.
The static on the speakerphone fills the room. So this morning’s meeting isn’t a standard update briefing. Nothing about this morning has been standard.
Something must bewrong. My body senses it. Heat gathers at the back of my neck. My pulse ticks upward in my throat as my breath leaves me, uneven and heavy.
The sound brings Idris to meet my eyes. “Em,” he says, “Set will join us on the phone soon. It’s about last night.”
Simple words, yet how he’s speaking doesn’t sit right with me. My pulse rises once more. Manageable but noticeable. I file it away. I can’t let my frantic feelings take hold, especially on a call with Set Adel, our largest investor.
I find myself holding my breath. Forcing it out, I hear air leave through my slightly parted lips.
“Em,” Idris says, sounding more like himself. Still restrained, but less so.
My eyes find his. I hadn’t realized my gaze moved to the blinking green light.
Between us, Darius has a plastic tube he’s connecting quietly to a piece of metal. I realize now that tinkering may be a nervous habit of his.
Just as mine is seeking Idris’ company. I’ve gotten used to it after the last few years, more so in the past several days on this ship.
“Did you sleep after I left, Em?” Idris asks, interrupting my thoughts.
“Yes,” I answer.
Idris nods, but his jaw flexes.
Before I can form my next thought, the speakerphone clicks.
A low tone rolls through the room. A deep, resonant sound that feels like it’s coming from the inside of the metal walls surrounding us. “Is that Emira you’re speaking with, Idris?”
