He steps forward before Nil can change his mind, takes Nil’s sling bag, and throws it onto the empty top bunk.
“Just sit still, Nil,” Stan insists. “Trust me, I’ve seen you faceplant before. It’s not flattering.”
Nil’s eyes narrow, but he also stays seated. His shoulders relaxanother notch. “Fine,” he mumbles.
Stan bumps Nil’s shoulder. “Look at us. A dream team already.”
Nil leans back and looks as if he could fall asleep sitting upright at this instant.
I indulge myself by staring for a few more seconds. Afterwards, I force my gaze away. I’ve seen enough. They’re here. They’re alright. I have more work to do. “I’ll leave you two to settle in,” I say.
Stan’s head lifts. “You’re not gonna stay and watch us change into these awful uniforms?”
I turn away.
“Wait,” Stan calls. “Question.”
I turn back a bit. “Yes?”
He gestures at the assigned uniforms through the opened storage. “Why do these uniforms feel like they’re designed to kill my sex life?”
Nil makes a noise that sounds like another laugh but is too subtle to classify with certainty.
“The material is antibacterial and optimized for monitoring accuracy,” I explain. “Sexual appeal wasn’t a priority in designing them.”
“A true tragedy.” Stan sighs. “For all of us.”
Nil reclines on the bunk. “They look comfortable enough.”
“Oh, sure.” Stan huffs out a loud breath. “Says the guy who looked good in a hospital gown.”
Nil’s lips lift upward. Then his eyes move to meet mine. The warmth inside me returns tenfold. I have to file the feeling away.
My presence here is no longer needed, so I remind myself to leave. “Rest while you can,” I tell them before turning away for good.
Behind me, I hear Stan say, “Stick around, and I can tire us out for some great rest, Em!”
“Good night, Stan.”
His voice follows me through the door. “You’ll miss me!”
The door hisses shut behind me. I can slightly detect the difference in my heartbeat. It feels as if it’s fluttering wildly. But that doesn’t matter. There’s more work to be done before the day ends. I plan to spend the rest of the day preparing the MedBay for tomorrow.
***
Before midnight, I finally return to my room. Quarters Three. Across the hall from Stan and Nil.
I don’t need to press my palm on the reader. The door’s being propped open with a red rose, nearly crushed by the metal frame.
Taking a deep breath, I make certain predictions. Idris rarely leaves doors closed in rooms he intends to occupy. It’s a habit from years of shared labs and late nights. He inserts himself into my space with the ease of someone who has long considered it partly his.
In all honesty, I don’t mind. If I had a heart, Idris would occupy that too. But I operate from my brain. It’s safer this way.
The last time I had a heart, there was too much to suffer through. Closing my eyes, I file away the feeling, and push away the horrid memories that threaten to take over—my mother in my arms, cold tiles, hot flames—and remind myself I’m safe.
I haven’t lived that life in a long time. I’ve since met Idris, who’s been helping me recreate Kys.
Staring at the crimson petals at my feet, I wonder when Idris found time to buy flowers before we boarded the ship.
