I step aside. “Sit for a moment, Idris.”
He walks in, lowering himself to the edge of the bed. “Sorry,” he says, his smile turning sheepish. “Thank you.”
He takes my hand and guides me to sit beside him.
“I came here ‘cause I wanted you to know,” Idris whispers, “Lix has his own customized compound too. Adjusted it specifically for his recovery.”
“You did?”
“Of course,” he says. “I wouldn’t overlook that, especially for your experiment. I know how much it matters to you.”
“So I wasn’t the only one you did that for,” I admit, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry for thinking I couldn’t trust you, Idris.”
He shrugs lightly. “Em, I completely understand. I should’ve been more up front with you. I’ve never been very good at being completely honest around you. I tend to get tongue-tied.”
I arch a brow. That couldn’t possibly be true. I’ve always known him to be articulate, precise with words in ways I admire.
I’m still trying to reconcile with that when he says, “I might be drunker than I realize.”
My gaze goes to his. Idris is watching me closely, the whiskey-softened blue deeper than usual, making it hard to look away.
“Em, I’ve always wondered…” he whispers. “What do you want most in the world?”
The answer arrives in an instant. “To fix Kys.”
He tries to hold back a laugh. “Em… My sweet, smart Em.” He shakes his head, smiling to himself. “What is it thatyouwantfor yourself?”
His phrasing gives me pause. It’s rather direct, aimed deep and far from the big picture I’ve had in my mind for so long. “I…” My thoughts tangle as I reach for something coherent. “It’s not that easy to—”
“Whatever it is—whatever itwas, ormight be, orwill be—I want you to know that youalwaysdeserveeverythingyou’ve ever wanted.”
My breath catches. I can’t seem to find words that feel adequate to his. “Idris…”
“Emira,” he whispers. “There are billions of people in this big globe, and it has truly been the biggest blessing—the mostmiraculousinstance—that even for a while, it was me who you chose to warm you during cold nights.” His voice falters. “And those memories will always stay with me. They’ll always warmmeon my coldest nights.”
His mouth brushes my cheek, then the corner of my lips, soft and careful as he kisses away the heat of my blush.
“I understand I can’t warm your bed as I did before,” he says. “Not because you have two other men who take care of you now. Heaven knows it takes a village, but I can’t be here for you how I want to be, not when there’s so much work to be done pulling me away. Even when all I want is to forget everything else and stay at your side for as long as I live.”
His hand slides down to my abdomen.
“Know that because ofyou, I get to live a long life.” His voice drops. “I only wish we had more time.”
I open my mouth, confusion pressing forward, ready to ask what he means. My mind considers that this could merely be a drunken stupor, but I’m rendered speechless, trying to process every word he said as though they repeat in my mind until they can make complete sense. It doesn’t feel like I’ll reach that logic in time, considering he leans in.
He’s so close that I feel his breath warming my skin. His mouth hovers over mine, the space between us thinning to awareness alone.
Then he stops. His eyes close briefly. His forehead rests near my temple as his breath leaves him in a slow exhale.
When he draws back, his smile is restrained. He straightens up with a silent sigh, looking at me with softened focus. “I’m proud of you, Em,” he says. “You’ve been letting people help you. I know how much that must cost you. After all, pride’s a hard pill to swallow.”
The corner of my mouth lifts. “Quite a clever wordplay, Idris.”
He laughs. “I really shouldn’t be allowed to use idioms when I’ve been drinking.”
We giggle lightly together while he stands, feet shuffling until he finds his footing.
“I really might just kiss you any moment now, Em, so…” he says, still smiling. “I should speak with them first. Lix and Stan.”
