His other hand takes my cock, strokin’ it to the pace of his thrusts. It’s insane and unfair how he can whisper filthy things into my ear while fucking me raw.
“Be good and come for me, Stan.”
Every part of me feels electric. From his narrow tip to his thick base, he keeps hitting that spot inside me that makes me see fucking stars. And in seconds, I come on his fingers and the bed.
When he finishes too, right inside me, it feels so satisfying to be this filled.
After that, I move myself to face the ceiling, panting with an open smile, sweat damp on my neck.
He lies on his side, hand heavy on my hip, like he knows I’ll complain if he doesn’t. He’d be damn right.
I chuckle, catching my breath. He makes a low sound that tells me he enjoyed that round too. I wonder if he’d be down for something new thrown in between us. One that involves the woman we keep circling around like moths to a flame. From what’s been happening the last few days, I’d say he’s interested. Whenever I catch him beside her, he blushes beet red.
Maybe it’s not as obvious how much I’m into her ‘cause the proof’s under my pants.
Breathing in, I keep staring at the ceiling, lost in thought, while Nil cleans up the sticky stains on us with the blanket he tosses aside. We’re warm enough anyway.
But here’s the thing… I’mterribleat this. The heavy lifting. The talking part. The part where I don’t get to distract anyone with jokes.
Don’t get me wrong. I’mexcellentat lifting actual weights. I can deadlift my feelingsphysically. But emotionally? Still a beginner.Still need someone to spot me. Still need the help I pretend I don’t need.
I clear my throat and stare real hard at the fake fireplace across the room. The flames are doing their cozy little dance, and it feels unfair that something can pretend so convincingly when I’m struggling to string together words about my feelings.
Nil’s beside me under a new blanket he unfolds from my closet. He’s so hot, completely naked and catching his breath too. Very distracting.
I ignore that and force myself to turn my head to face him.
He’s already looking at me. Brows drawn together. Mouth tipped down slightly. “What’s wrong, Stan?” he asks.
I swallow, wondering since when he could read my mind. “Hey, uh, can we talk about something heavy?”
He comforts me fast. “Always.”
Smiling lopsided, I say, “For starters, I’m sorry.”
His brows pinch tighter. “For what?”
“For stealing Kys,” I say, losing my smile. “And for going into doors I wasn’t allowed in. And for taking things that weren’t mine. It’s just one of my many, many bad habits.”
The edge of his lips lifts a little. “You mentioned three.”
I bark out a laugh, relief punching through my ribs. “See? This is why I love you. You make the bad parts seem not so bad.”
His eyes take in mine, then he adds, “I won’t lie, Stan. Em’s Kys helped me recover, so I get why you took them.”
“Yeah?” I rush the words out. “It helped me too, y’know. Kys would get me through this tough talk.”
“I get that, Stan, but…” He scoots closer to me, patting my chest. “Just because my body’s not at a hundred percent doesn’t mean my heart’s not a hundred percent with you.”
I exhale hard and roll onto my side to make sure we’re meetingeye to eye here. “When you say a hundred percent…” I say slowly, “you mean all in with me, right?”
He nods and waits. Doesn’t rush me, even when I feel like I might vomit out words.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m all in too, but…” I keep going. “What if I ask you to split that hundred in half?”
My eyes move to the fireplace. Too afraid what his face will say.
“Being with you makes me happy. Happier than I ever thought I’d be. But let’s be honest here…” I sigh. “I’m a lot to deal with, and I know you’ve got the hots for Em. I mean, who wouldn’t?”
