That got her to open her eyes. She half-turned to send him a skeptical look. “Did you miss the part where I climaxed twice?” Her body was still heavy with the remains of the pleasure he’d brought her.
He glanced away, abashed. “Still. I should have been gentler.”
She rolled her eyes and returned to lie in his arms, her back pressed against his chest. As she feared, thoughts of tomorrowtrespassed on her satisfied mind, chasing away the moment of ease. Icy dread gathered in her stomach once more.
Velia sat up, unable to enjoy Ferox’s warmth. She caught sight of the curved red marks on his shoulder, wrought by her teeth. In a strange way, it pleased her he’d go into the arena tomorrow marked by her.
She swallowed hard. There was something she needed to say to him. Something that would take all her courage. “Ferox…about tomorrow…” She passed a hand through the remains of her braid, disentangling the segments that had survived the rough coupling until her fingers could slide through with no resistance.
His gaze fixed on her, and he waited in silence for her to speak.
“I don’t want you to hold back,” she finally said. “You have my blessing, if you need it, to win.”To kill Achilles. In their last conversation, Ferox had said he wouldn’t throw the fight, but she feared he wouldn’t give it his all, out of care for her. So she wouldn’t lose Achilles.
And Velia couldn’t stand fearingshewas the unwitting cause of Ferox’s death.
“As terrible as it sounds,” she said, “I can live with Achilles dying. I can start over if I have to.” The words pained her, though they were true. She felt responsible for Achilles, aside from the potential money his career would bring her, and she didn’t want his death on her conscience. She sensed she’d carry that guilt forever. But if the choice was between Achilles and Ferox…there was only one decision she could make.
“But you…” Velia continued. “I can’t live with you dying.”
His hand found hers, fingers twining together. “Even if you know I’ll leave and you’ll never see me again? It will be the same for you whether I live or die.”
She shook her head. “Not the same. If you leave, I can imagine you being alive. Being happy. Not that I understand how you’d be happy, living in the middle of nowhere all by yourself.” She intended the remark as a joke, but bitterness laced it.
He propped himself on an elbow, facing her. She didn’t miss his wince as his injured leg shifted against the mattress. Unease joined the dread in her stomach. Her declaration didn’t matter if Ferox actually found himself unable to best Achilles.
“I wouldn’t be happy,” he said. “Not without you.”
“I haven’t—haven’t changed my mind,” she said unsteadily. “I can’t leave—”
“I’m not asking you to leave. I’m telling you I want to stay.”
Velia held her breath, hardly able to comprehend his words. “You…what?”
“It’s Lea’s doing,” he said gruffly. “She made me realize I’d been very stupid about several things. Thinking Hector’s death was my fault. Believing he’d go to the trouble of haunting me. Planning to leave behind the closest thing I’ve had to a home since I was a child. And there was something about thistles…” He shook his head. “This will still be my last fight. But leaving you…well, the thought of it feels like severing my own arm.”
Tears blurred her vision. She opened her mouth, but couldn’t speak.
“Besides,” he continued, “I hear there’s a new manager who might need a trainer for her gladiators.”
Emotion swelled in her chest. “I’ve heard the same thing,” she managed with a wavering chuckle. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and weep with joy, but his words didn’t erase what was about to happen tomorrow. He still had to fight, still had to face death. Now, if he lost, it would feel all the more cruel for being so close to happiness.
“I love you, Velia,” he murmured, his voice roughening. “Whatever time I have left, I want to spend it with you.”
29
Feroxdidn’tbothertryingto sleep that night. He knew he wouldn’t be able to, and he didn’t want to waste a moment with Velia on sleep.
She eventually fell into a doze, and he lay as still as possible so he didn’t wake her. He savored every rise and fall of her chest, every twitch of her body as she shifted. How had she grown so precious to him?
It seemed like yesterday that she was nothing more than a strange woman wheedling him into training her novice and telling him scandalous things about her past. Then again, the fact that he’d led an entire life without knowing her felt unthinkable. She’d burrowed herself so deeply into his heart, into his soul, that he couldn’t take a breath without feeling her.
The light in the room turned grayish as the hours passed, and then the first golden rays of dawn slid through the small window. Velia stirred, stretching with a sigh. She rolled over to face him, her eyes still closed. Her knee lifted to settle atop his hip. “I want you again,” she breathed.
Her proximity all night had made arousal simmer gently beneath his skin, and it flared to life at her words. He brought her beneath him, settling his body over hers. They were both stillnaked, and the brush of her bare skin made his cock swell to attention.
He slid a hand down to palm her sex. Her soft warmth made his mouth go dry with need. “Are you sure?” He worried she’d be sore from last night. But now, the frantic hunger that had possessed him then was sated. He could be slower, gentler this time.
She nodded. He stroked her until her arousal dewed his fingers. Then, he slid one finger inside her, his thumb rubbing at the apex of her quim. He knew he’d found the right spot when her breath caught. She squirmed beneath him, shifting restlessly. A flush crept from her cheeks down to her collarbone, echoing the pink of her nipples. Bathed in the dawn sunshine, it was the most beautiful sight he could imagine.
