“You have your nobles! You aren’t alone.”
“And what will you do? Skulk off to your secluded cabin, isolating yourself from the world? Is that what you want?” The words were meant to be teasing, but the catch in my voice betrayed my insecurities. If thatwaswhat he wanted, I would let him go. I would let him be free at last. I refused to enslave him like Calista had. If he loathed court life so much, I wouldn’t blame him for wanting to escape it.
Theron raised my hands and brushed his lips against my knuckles, sending a shiver of pleasure down my spine. “I go where you go, Eira. I am yours to command.”
“Then, I command you to marry me.”
He chuckled and shook his head, his lips grazing my skin again. “I can’t.”
My heart dropped to my stomach. “Oh.”
“Could I be your consort instead?”
I shook my head. “I’ve been thinking about this, Theron. I don’t want someone to merely be attached to me as my spouse. I want someone to share my power, to rule alongside me. This court needs a king. A king like my father.”
“Make me your assassin. Your commander. Your advisor. Anything else. I want to serve you, but I—I can’t be king.”
I frowned at the weakness in his tone. “Why not?”
He shook his head. “You know me, Eira. My father led a crusade against the very people you’ve sworn to protect. I helped Calista slaughter innocents for years. I can’t wear the crown. I’m not fit for it.”
My eyes narrowed. “Who are you to decide that?”
“Do you really think the people will follow me? Even the nobles of your court despise me.”
“Denton will come around.”
“It isn’t just Denton.”
I sighed. He wasn’t making this easy. “Please, Theron.”
He raised his eyebrows, mischief glinting in his eyes. “Are you…begging?”
My face burned, and I rolled my eyes. “Are you really going to make your queen beg?”
He leaned closer and pressed a kiss to my nose. “As much as I’d like that, I just need time, Eira. This kingdom needs time. I’m not saying I don’t want to marry you. Believe me, I want nothing more than to declare my love for you for the world to hear, and then claim you as my own. Over… and over again.” His teeth nipped gently at my nose, and I shuddered as coils of heat twisted in my stomach.
My breath hitched as I prompted, “But?”
“But…” He drew back, and darkness crept into his gaze. I knew that darkness well. He wore it like a cloak, shrouding it around himself until he was swallowed by it. In that moment, I knew he was right. He needed time. He was a man burdened by the blood on his hands. I saw him differently, but that didn’t matter. He had to see it for himself.
“But I’m not ready,” he finally finished. “My heart and soul will always belong to you, Eira. But I’m not ready for the burden of the crown just yet. Let the kingdom adjust to a new queen first. Once they have accepted you, we can see what they think of an assassin for a king.” His mouth twisted in a grimace.
“You aren’t an assassin,” I said earnestly. “Not anymore. I willneverask you to kill, Theron.”
His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “Thank you.” Something shifted in his gaze as he looked at me. “You don’t have to wait for me, Eira. If it’s a king you want, you should… you should…” He broke off, his eyes flaring with pain.
I squeezed his hands again. “There’s only you, Theron. Iwon’t take another husband or lover. I will wait for however long you need. I swear it.”
He exhaled in relief and nodded.
A slow smile spread on my face. “I’d even be willing to make a bargain over it.”
He laughed, ducking his head. “Don’t you dare. We’ve had enough of those.”
“What, you didn’t enjoy being bound to me?”
“I enjoyed it far more than I should have.”
