More than devastating. I struggled the entire time, trying to be what she needed while not trampling all over my own needs.
All I could do was nod. “I knew she’d come around in regard to Caelan.”
Declan watched me. “But you weren’t sure if she’d come around to you.”
I shrugged. “Turns out she has great taste, too.”
Declan snorted. “We couldn’t be happier for you. There’s a sense of…happiness in the air.” A sharp shake of his head. “No. That’s not the right word. Evie brought a sense of contentment to our home. She’s blessed our lands and our women.”
“We’re probably going to have to build more houses,” I said ruefully.
“You might have to build an entire subdivision if Evie keeps pumping the air with that fertility juju.”
A happy laugh burst from me. “A blessing none of us expected, for sure.”
“And you?” Declan asked quietly.
I knew what he wanted to know without directly asking. “I would be blessed beyond all I deserve if we had children.”
“Are you taking precautions?”
I clamped down my anger. The question, asked by a Second, was valid. By virtue of his position, he had the right to ask. A Second was responsible for ensuring the safety of a Keep’s Lord, and if that Lord mated, that protection flowed to the mate, and, eventually, any children born of the union. Him asking the question was not the problem, but Evie was asleep a few rooms over, and I knew her well enough to know she would not be comfortable with Declan having that level of knowledge about our sex life.
“Whoa,” Declan said. “Easy, Rowan.” He leaned away, his eyes wide. A silvery blue light reflected over his face. “Your…” His voice trailed off. “Have you gotten a gander at your eyes lately?”
I let out a slow breath, allowing the fury to drain away. “Sorry.” My voice is rougher than usual, my bear riding on the edges of this new bond, and the touches of Evie’s magic I seemed to be inheriting. “Bonding with a fae has altered some things.”
Declan pressed his lips together for a moment. “Yeah,” he said after a long moment of silence. “No shit.”
My eyes shifted back to their normal color, allowing Declan to relax a hair, though his eyes still held a wary look I didn’t love. Even now, in a place where I was loved beyond all I thought I deserved and after Evie had given us more than we could dream of, my people were still wary of her power. The thought both enraged and exhausted me.
When would it be enough? When would the world stop draining Evie, taking and taking, and rarely giving her anything but heartache in return? Would Evie have to give every bit of herself before anyone gave her any credit? She would, I knew it. I’d do anything to stop her, but Evie had always been a giver, far more than many people deserved.
The look bled away a second later. My shoulders slumped. Declan was one of my oldest and dearest friends, and he’d known how long I’d wanted what I had with Evie, so for him to look at me like that crushed something inside of me.
Declan’s lips twisted. He shook his head, as if arguing with himself over something, and finally spread his hands out. “Hey, man. You don’t have to answer that. I understand that Evie is not a shifter, not the same way we are. There will be different boundaries.” He dipped his head in apology. “I didn’t mean to violate those boundaries. I wasn’t thinking, and it won’t happen again.”
“You’re scared of her.” The words came out hard and flat.
Declan met my eyes. There was no amusement or mischief in his gaze. “She is a fae goddess, Rowan. Her power is tremendous. We should all be a little afraid of her, I think.”
But I shook my head and rose. “She saved us all, Declan. And not only that, she gifted us with children. So many children.” My hands trembled. “She saved me. You know how long I wandered this world searching for something like this.”
Declan looked stricken. “Gods, Rowan. I know. Of course, I know. It’s just?—”
“What?” I demanded. “You can’t see past her fae parts into her heart?”
“I am not her mate,” Declan said softly. “We all feel her.” He touched his chest. “We know her power and her love for you. But we don’t know her.”
My Second sighed and rose.
“You do know her,” I said quietly. “The moment we bonded, all of you knew her. You may not know her likes and dislikes or her family or her history, but you know her heart.”
Declan opened his mouth and thought better of speaking. His gaze flicked to the hall.
The door creaked open. Evie stood there, blue eyes brimming with grief. She tied her robe closed and slid a pair of slippers on. “I just wanted some coffee,” she said quietly as she glided into the kitchen.
We watched, dead silent, as she poured herself a cup of coffee from the pot, but Evie didn’t go back to our bedroom. She walked outside and headed to her cottage, her head bowed in defeat. I hadn’t seen her look like that since the night I carried her out of Joy Springs. My heart cracked at that moment, and I turned to my Second.
