The truth was I hadn’t been on a motorcycle since that fateful night with Johnny. When I was with Rev in Georgia, I had been around them, but I had never ridden one. I had been too afraid it might trigger some of my old memories.
And I had been right. Although Rev squeezed my hand reassuringly, I fought an inner battle with my subconscious over the heart-racing, chest heaving anxiety and fear that threatened to overtake me all because of a motorcycle. Searching my mind, I recalled the words my therapist had given me when I came in contact with an emotional trigger.You have a choice. You are safe. You are not in danger. You always have a choice.
At what must’ve been my emotional turmoil, Rev said, “Look. You donothave to get on my bike. I can get us a cab to the hotel.”
I was touched and maybe a little tempted by his offer. But considering the man I loved was a biker, I knew this was something Ihadto conquer. “I’ll be fine.”
Always the gentleman, Rev took off his coat jacket and handed it to me. “Are you sure you want to do this? I wish you had at least stopped for a coat. It’s cold now, but it’s going to be hell once we get started.”
“I’m sure I’ll survive.”
Rev handed me his helmet, and I slid it on. I then tried hiking up the hem of my ball gown as best I could. When Rev chuckled, I wagged a finger at him. “I’d love to see you try to maneuver in this thing.”
“If it’s any consolation, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you more beautiful than you are in that dress.”
I momentarily stopped fidgeting to look up and smile at him. “Thank you.” Once again, Rev showed his caring side with just a small compliment to put me at ease.
Once I had gotten the dress up as best I could, I eased onto the seat of the bike. After I was in place, Rev got on. I brought my hands around his waist and snuggled up against his back. It felt so good to get to hold him again. I had missed the feel of him over the last few months.
While it had been unseasonably warm for December, it might as well have been subzero by how cold I was once we got started. When we got to the first red light, Rev turned around to survey how I was doing. I guess my shivering and teeth chattering told him all he needed to know. “My hotel isn’t far. Hang in there. Okay?”
“I-I’ll t-try,” I murmured.
Thankfully, it wasn’t too much farther. I was also grateful that Rev had chosen a hotel with rooms inside, rather than amotel like I had been taken to that night with Johnny. When the bike came to a stop, I didn’t want to pry myself away from the small amount of warmth I was getting from Rev.
I whimpered when he got off. After he took my hand, he frowned. “Jesus, Annabel, you’re like a block of ice. Let’s get you inside and warm.”
He wasn’t going to get any protests from me. After tucking me to his side, he hurried us into the lobby and onto an elevator. When the elevator dinged on the fifth floor, he dug his key card out of his pants pocket and led me out into the hallway. He unlocked the third door on the right and ushered me inside.
Instead of letting me go, he continued on through the bathroom. After flipping the toilet seat down, he eased me down.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting you into the shower.” At what must’ve been my skeptical expression, he added, “It’s the fastest way to get you warm.”
“I see,” I murmured.
He made quick work of turning on the water and testing it with his fingers. When it seemed to his satisfaction, he turned back to me. I still sat on the toilet, shivering and trembling.
We stared at each other for a moment. Rev jerked a hand through his hair. “Yeah, uh, I guess I better let you get in now.”
When he started to go, I grabbed his arm. “Wait. I need help getting out of this dress.”
His eyes flared at my request. It wasn’t a come on in disguise. I had needed the help of one of our maids earlier tonight to get it zipped.
Instead of asking me to stand up, Rev bent over my back, bringing his hands to the zipper. Slowly, he tugged it down. As the front gaped open, I didn’t bother to bring my hands up to cover myself.
Rev’s hands momentarily faltered, and when I looked up, I met his gaze, which was staring at my bare breasts. The tight fitting bodice hadn’t needed a strapless bra. He cleared his throat several times before tugging the zipper the rest of the way down.
There was not a doubt in my mind, heart, or body about how much I wanted him. I knew he expected me to want to take things slow in the sex department, but that’s not how I felt. Regardless of the ghosts of the past, I wanted him more than I had ever wanted any man. I wanted him to be the one who proved to me that sex was physically and emotionally safe. That it could be a loving act between two consenting people.
But with the roller coaster of feelings rocketing through me, it was more about an all-consuming lust and desire.
When Rev stepped back from me, I rose to my feet. The dress slid down my body and pooled at my feet, leaving me in only my panties. Both empowerment and vulnerability ran through me.
“Rev, I want you to look at me.” He shook his head as he kept his gaze averted to the floor. “I said I want you to look at me,” I repeated.
“That’s not what this is about. It’s about you getting warm before you catch pneumonia,” he countered.
