“You’re not?”
Pulling away, I gazed up at him. “I’m crying because of how sweet you are.”
His shocked expression was almost comical. “You’re crying because of me?”
“Yes. I’ve never met anyone who is as caring and selfless as you are. You barely know me, yet you’re willing to do anything and everything to help me heal. It’s truly noble.”
His cheeks flushed pink at my compliments. “Well, I don’t know about all that.”
“It’s the truth. Believe me.” Turning my head, I peered out at the water. “I’m grateful that you brought me here, and I want to give it a try.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I do.”
A relieved look flashed in his eyes. “I’m glad to hear it.” Motioning to the water, he asked, “Ready?”
“I don’t have to get undressed?”
Rev smiled. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
The thought was very comforting, but at the same time, I couldn’t manage to bring my foot up and start into the water. For a few agonizing seconds, I stood frozen, unsure of what to do.
“I can understand if you want to do this alone. I can head back into the woods to give you some privacy.”
Nibbling my bottom lip, I debated his offer. My pain was very personal and very private. Although Rev had been a witness to a lot of it, I wasn’t sure if I wanted him with me. I wondered if I needed to be alone to fully purge myself of the horror I had endured. To not have to worry about him seeing me become hysterical yet again. The idea was very freeing. “I think I would like to go in alone.”
“That’s totally understandable. I won’t go far. Call for me if you need me.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
He turned and walked back through the high grass and into the woods. Once he was out of sight, I reached down to take off my shoes. I then took a tentative step into the water, quickly drawing back and sucking in a breath at how cold it was. My feet sunk into the cool mud of the bank. But when it came time to take another step, I suddenly froze. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it alone—it’s just I didn’t want to. Whirling around, I saw that Rev had made his way halfway across the grass. “Rev!” I cried out.
He momentarily froze with his back to me before turning towards me. Silent and unmoving, he waited to hear the words from me. “I need you!” I shouted. The moment the words left my lips he began quickly making his way back across the clearing.
When he reached me, he stared intently at me, searching my face.
“I don’t want to do it alone.”
“I understand.” He bent down to take off his shoes. Once he was barefoot, he stepped in front of me to where he would go in the water first. He held out his hand. “Come on. I won’t let anything happen to you.” And as I slipped my hand into his, I knew without a shadow of a doubt he wouldn’t let anything ever hurt me—not today and not a year from now.
As we went deeper into the water, I screeched as the cold temperature took my breath. I knew it would take a few minutesfor me to get used to it. When we were waist deep, Rev let go. “It’s up to you now,” he said.
I completely understood his meaning. He couldn’t keep leading me—I had to do it on my own. As determination surged through me, I kept on walking until the water was shoulder high. Then I closed my eyes, held my breath, and took the next step into the unknown.
Immediately I became enveloped in what I imagined was a watery grave. After all, I was looking to be changed, so what better way to do it than through death and rebirth. I stayed submerged until my lungs ached and burned from holding my breath. Finally when I thought I couldn’t take it one more second, I kicked my legs and reached the surface.
But when the bright rays of the sun hit my face, I didn’t feel its warmth. Instead, I felt like my past was an anchor, which would drag me down under the water until I drowned. Where was the peace Rev had spoken of? Sure, I had felt something when I was submerged, but it had all left me when I reached the surface again.
“Annabel?” Rev asked.
When I turned towards him, his face fell. My expression must’ve told him what I couldn’t. The next thing I knew he was coming to me. When he reached for me, I thought it was to comfort me. I never could have imagined he would have grabbed the top of my head and dunked me under the water.
I was only submerged a second before I came back up, sputtering and hacking. Swiping the hair out of my face, I became enraged at the sound of Rev’s laughter. “Are you kidding me? You think what you just did was funny?”
Nodding his head, he replied, “I wish you could have seen your face.”
I huffed out an indignant breath. “You…asshole!” Then with a complete lack of maturity, I splashed water in his face.
