In another time and place, far from here, I might have considered his dark, chiseled features handsome. But because of the monster I knew him to be, I never looked at him without thinly veiled repulsion. His ego was so enlarged that he expected me to enjoy his rapes. At first, I had wept inconsolably during it, and in turn, I got beaten. I had learned very quickly to use my imagination. Instead of Mendoza, I pretended it was Brad Pitt or Henry Cavill in the bed with me—anything to endure it.
He pulled me down onto the bed beside him. After rolling on top of me, he shoved up the dress shirt. “Roja,” he murmured against my lips.
I disconnected the moment he slammed into me. Instead of Mendoza, with his black soulless eyes looming over me, it was the gentle, caring eyes of Dr. Josh Jenkins. What I imagined with him wasn’t even sexual. It was more about the kindness he had shown, the dimples that appeared when he smiled, his caring bedside manner with his four-legged patients.
Because I missed him, the animals at the clinic, and most of all my former life, I found myself murmuring, “Oh Josh.”
Mendoza’s pounding in and out of me immediately ceased. When I finally dared to open my eyes, his menacing gaze made me shudder, even though I knew better than to show any reaction to him. “What did you say, bitch?”
“Nothing,” I whispered, as I cowered away from him.
His fingers came to curl around my neck. “I’llkillyou for letting another man’s name come off your lips.”
When his other fist blasted into my cheek, I began to scream.
***
My eyelids fluttered as I tiptoed the line between consciousness and unconsciousness. Someone was shouting my name. “Roja!” “Annabel!”
I focused all my strength on the one who called my real name. When I dared to open my eyes, I found myself staring into the kind, concerned face of Rev. I exhaled a breath of relief. It had been a dream. Just a dream. I wasn’t back at Mendoza’s.
“Are you okay?”
Since I couldn’t speak, I merely nodded. My body shivered and shook like a newborn colt taking its first steps. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to stop the tremors.
Without saying a word, Rev’s strong arms reached out to draw me against him. “Shh, it’s all right. You’re safe,” he murmured against my ear.
My trembling arms came up to wrap around him. I burrowed deeper into his chest, into his warmth. Closing my eyes, I pressed my face against his pectoral, searching out the sound of his beating heart. I marveled at the thought that a relative stranger could provide the comfort I so desperately needed.
“You want to talk about it?” Rev asked.
Only with him would I allow myself to go there. I swallowed hard. “It was about that last night with Mendoza…how he wanted to kill me.” The tremors ricocheted through me again like I was being shaken by someone.
Placing his hands on each side of my face, Rev pushed my head back so I could look into his eyes. “Believe me when I say that you never have to worry about Mendoza hurting you ever again.”
“How can you be so sure?” I whispered.
A menacing cruelty replaced the compassion on Rev’s face. “Because I will put a bullet between his eyes before he ever has the chance.”
My heartbeat skipped erratically like it was playing a manic game of hopscotch. For a moment, my instinct was to recoil away from him, disgusted by what he had just suggested. Icouldn’t fathom how the compassionate and caring Rev could also be a cold-hearted killer.
Rev stared down at his hands. “I’m sorry if I disappoint you, but that’s who I am. I will protect what’s important to me. You need to understand that.” I knew he spoke the absolute truth from the look of determination that was etched across his handsome features.
I shook my head. “Regardless of what you say you are, I could never let you do that. If you got caught, you would go to jail because of me.”
“It would be worth it to end the life of such an odious and despicable creature. Mendoza doesn’t deserve to live.”
Although I wanted Mendoza dead even more than Rev, it was still hard hearing him say the words. Anxiety ricocheted through me, and before I could stop myself, I blurted, “But if you went to jail, then I wouldn’t get to be with you anymore!”
Rev’s smile once again sent my heart skipping, and it amazed me how quickly he could shift from intimidating to sweet and tender. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“But if you?—”
“I won’t get caught.”
“How can you possibly believe that?”
“Just trust me.”
