“Oh,” I murmured, trying not to let my mortification reach my cheeks. I then proceeded to try to look anywhere but at Rev.
“See, I knew I shouldn’t have told you,” he mumbled.
“I know. Trust me, I’m sorry I pressed you for the information.”
After a few seconds of embarrassment hung over the table, a laugh came bursting out of me before I could stop myself. When I finally dared to look over at Rev, he was staring wide-eyed at me.
I continued laughing, unable to catch my breath. It was like some emotional dam had broken within me, and this was the way everything was getting out. It sure beat crying.
“Annabel?” Rev questioned cautiously once I got a hold of myself.
I dabbed my eyes with a napkin. “I’m sorry. I guess it was just the absurdity of the moment. Here I am having a breakdown because I had been thinking we were flirting with each other, not to mention we are two mature adults who just died a thousand deaths from talking about erections.”
When Rev realized I hadn’t totally lost my mind, he grinned. “Totally uptight.”
“Yes, uptight seems to sum up exactly how I’ve been reacting to my feelings. I’m going to take your advice and push the thoughts away. Most of all, I want to lighten up. Despite what happened to me, I’m lucky to have gotten out of there.”
“More than anything, you need to be kind to yourself.” After taking a sip of tea, he said, “I know when you asked what the plans were when we get to Georgia, I said it was up to you.”
“You did.”
“I would make one suggestion. It’s one I hope you will take.”
He certainly had my interest peaked. “What is it?”
“I want you to see a therapist as soon as possible.”
My stomach churned a little at the prospect. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in seeing a therapist. It was just that I didn't want to dredge up everything that had happened to me and relive it with a perfect stranger. At the same time, I knew I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life dealing with the fallout of emotional issues I tried to bury.
So I nodded at Rev. “Yes, I will.”
I could tell he was a little surprised at how easily I consented to his suggestion. “My sister-in-law is a teacher. She works closely with a lot of healthcare professionals. I can ask her to recommend one without going into your story.”
“Thank you, Rev. I would appreciate that.”
“You’re welcome.” He then jerked his chin at my plate. “Now eat some more steak.”
Despite rolling my eyes, I didn’t bother arguing with him. Instead, I chowed down on my steak and sweet potato, which were delicious. I managed to put a lot away until my overloaded stomach began to protest. I sat my fork and knife down on the plate and eased back in the booth.
Rev motioned out the window. “Look.”
I followed his gaze across the street from the diner where the twinkling, multicolored lights of a small carnival, including a Ferris wheel, stretched high into the sky.
“When we were kids, Bishop and I couldn’t wait each year for the fair to come to town. It was set up just down the road from us, and we used to save our money up so we could go every night.”
I smiled at him. “Sounds like fun.”
His brows show up. “Did you ever go to a fair as a kid?”
Shaking my head, I replied, “I always wanted to go, but my parents…” I grimaced as their words echoed through my head.
“What?”
I twisted my napkin in my lap. “My parents said only trashy people went to the fair, and I would catch something from them.”
Rev barked out a humorless laugh. “Well, I’m pretty sure they were right about my family’s status, but we never spread any diseases.”
I stared down at my plate, wishing I had answered him differently. At that moment, I hated my parents even more. I hated their hypocrisy of acting like they cared for the poor by having a thousand dollar a plate fundraisers, but at the same time, they stared down their noses at anyone not in their social class.
