Why?
For the thousandth time I asked myself that one question.
Why?
Why me? Why did bad things keep happening? It struck me at that moment that while I might’ve physically escaped from my nightmare, I would be forced to continuously endure the emotional aftershocks. I became so overwhelmed with dark and desperate feelings then I didn’t think I could keep my head up. “I’m very tired. I think I need to rest.”
“I’m sorry, Annabel. If I could have gotten to you sooner and under different circumstances, maybe I could have repaired the tear without having to remove the uterus.”
Even though he was sincere, I didn’t want his apology. Nothing he could say or do could ever make things right for me. No one could. At that moment, I realized I had traded one hell for another.
From this day forward, I would never be anything more than a shameful burden to my parents. As a woman who had been defiled by criminals, I would be considered damaged goods. Preston would never date or marry me, and for that matter neither would any other man in our social circle. Even if they did, I couldn’t bear the picture-perfect family for them. No political propaganda commercial would want to feature a couple along with their surrogate.
There would be no going back to the life I had had before. The future that spread out before me was desolate and bleak. As I closed my eyes, I wished that Rev had never found me, and instead had allowed me to die on the floor of Mendoza’s compound like the worthless trash I felt like.
CHAPTER SIX: REV
When Breakneck came out of Annabel’s room, he was ashen. Since he had been in there a long time, a surge of concern that something had gone wrong overwhelmed me. Grabbing his arm, I asked, “Is she okay?”
His agonized eyes met mine. “No, she’s not.”
My heart clenched. “Wait, did she?—”
“After her examination, I had to explain to her the severity of her injuries and the course of action I had to take.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I asked, “What do you mean?”
“I had to do a partial hysterectomy on Annabel.”
“Jesus,” I muttered.
“She isn’t taking the news very well.” He shook his head. “In fact, it’s devastated her.”
I couldn’t even begin to imagine what Annabel was going through. Having children was something so intertwined with being a woman, and now she had lost that. If she was someone who had always wanted kids, I’m sure the news was a complete blow on top of everything she was already dealing with. “I’ll go and talk to her.”
Breakneck nodded and then walked further down the hallway. When I opened the door, Annabel didn’t even look up. Instead, she kept staring ahead of her. “Hey,” I said softly, as I walked over to the bed. A chill shuddered through me at the visual evidence of how much the news had affected her. It was like seeing an entirely different girl. Not that she didn’t deserve to be a basket case after what she had been through, but it was certainly alarming.
“I thought you might want to talk,” I said.
A single tear slid down her cheek. “I just want to be alone.”
“Okay. We don’t have to talk. But why don’t I sit here with you for a while?”
“Whatever,” she muttered, closing her eyes.
With an uneasy feeling, I sat down in the chair beside the bed and kept quiet, but it was a long time before she fell into a fitful sleep. When one of the nurses came in to check her vitals, she brought back a sedative. Once the liquid seeped from the IV into Annabel’s veins, she finally found a peaceful sleep. Then it was my turn to toss and turn in the chair.
***
In what was becoming our on the road ritual, Bishop shook me awake the next morning. Sometime during the night, a rollaway bed had been brought in, but I didn’t even remember moving from the chair. Rubbing my eyes, I asked, “What time is it?”
“Little after seven. I brought you some breakfast.”
“Thanks, man.” I pulled myself into a sitting position. As I glanced around the room, my gaze focused on the rumpled sheets of the empty bed. “Where’s Annabel?”
“She was in the bathroom when I got here.”
A prickly feeling like nicks from barbed wire went through my chest. Striding across the room, my fist connected with the bathroom door. “Annabel? Are you all right?” When therewas no reply, I pounded harder. “Annabel, answer me!” I commanded in a voice harsher than I wanted.
