Here.
I stay where I am.
Chapter twenty-three
Alex
Gray asks me on a Tuesday.
Not dramatically — we're in the Gold House common room, he's reading, I'm pretending to do remote coursework. He puts his book down and looks at me and then looks at the window and then looks back at me.
"The Spring Equinox formal," he says. "At Frosthaven." A beat. "Would you want to go. With me."
His hand goes to the back of his neck.
I look at him. Gray, who does everything with complete composure, who reads a room before he walks into it, who has never once in my presence looked uncertain about anything.
He's slightly pink.
"Yes," I say.
He nods. Picks his book back up. Doesn’t turn the page. The pink doesn't fully go away for another few minutes and I look at my coursework and say nothing about it because some things are better left alone.
The dress is my idea. I find it online — black, floor-length, lace-up back, low enough that I have to look twice before I order it. More sequins than I have ever worn in my life. It arrives in three days and fits like it was made for it, which is the point of a lace-up back — no fitting needed, just pull the laces and it's yours.
Dalton sees it hanging on the back of my door that evening. He looks at it for a moment and then looks at me and then goes back to what he was doing. Jake appears in my doorway behind him, takes in the dress, takes in Dalton's face.
"He's upset he can't go," Jake says.
"I'm not going to a school dance," Dalton says.
"He's very upset," Jake says.
Jim appears beside Jake. Looks at the dress. Looks at Dalton. "You could be a chaperone," Jim says.
Dalton leaves the room.
***
Lumi picks me up the morning of in a car that belongs to one of Rae's mates. We're going to Rae's house, which I didn't know until we're pulling up to it.
The door opens before we knock.
Warm. Lived-in. Small boots by the door alongside too many mens boots to count, a drawing on the fridge that might be a wolf or might be a horse, a toy somewhere making a sound that nobody seems to notice anymore because it's been making it so long.
Tomlinson. He looks at me and then at Lumi and then back at the house behind him with the expression of a man who has been asked to leave and is in the process of doing so gracefully.Kane is behind him pulling on a jacket. Kade behind Kane. Three other men I don't know filing out behind them with the good-natured resignation of people who have done this before.
"Out," Rae says, from somewhere inside. "All of you. Go."
"We're going," Tomlinson says.
"Faster," Rae says.
Tomlinson. He looks at me and then at Lumi and then back at the house behind him with the expression of a man who has been asked to leave and is in the process of doing so gracefully. Kane is behind him pulling on a jacket. Kade behind Kane. Three other men I don't know filing out behind them with the good-natured resignation of people who have done this before.
Kane catches my eye on the way past and nods. Kade almost smiles. The three men I don't know give me the curious look of people who have heard about me and file past without stopping. Tomlinson is last. He pauses on the step.
"Have a good evening," he says. To me. To Lumi. Genuinely meaning it.
