The words are bitter as I swallow. I don’t want to be this way—but what choice do I really have?
The driveway finally comes into view, and I hold my breath as she yanks the truck into the turn, going far too fucking fast. She’s reckless, and I hate her more for it.
Still, the brakes do not falter.
Did I do it wrong? Why has nothing happened?
Shame and anger fill my mouth like a rotten lemon, and I swallow rapidly to rid myself of the taste.
I hadn’t chickened out. I’d done what I thought needed to be done to avenge my family, even if now, I can hear my brother’s voice, telling me how weak I am for not doing more. If it’d been him, he wouldn’t have messed up.
If it’d been him, she would already be dead.
I contemplate ramming into the bed of her truck, but even as the thought forms, I brush it away. It would not only be painfully obvious—it’d leave me with as much of a bill as it would her, and Lord knows I can’t afford any of it.
Still, I have to do something.
As we pull down the long row of trees, Valentina speeds up, feeling invincible from the ego that doesn’t fit in this world, and I can’t help but hope.
I’d pray if it didn’t make me feel sick to my stomach.
What I want is evil, and I’ve made peace with the fact that I’ll end up in hell for it, but I refuse to call upon God for help. I still believe in good and evil; I’ve just found myself on the wrong side of the line here, and there’s no way around it.
As the truck accelerates, dust billowing behind her, the red taillights start to bounce, the tires wobbling, and then they flash as she finally presses the breaks. But they fail, the cut brake line finally giving out.
The truck roars ahead, catching the edge of the road, the deep ditch to the right sucking her in too quickly for her to correct. She halts with a crash, the sound deafening, and I half expect to see the truck burst into pieces. Instead, the bank on the opposite side of the ditch explodes, bits of rock and branches off the tree overhead spraying around the brand new dodge and pelting the road around me.
I skid to a halt myself, heart pounding. Breathing raggedly, the sound a roar in my head, my fingers strangle the tattered wheel of my old, beat up Ford as I wait for signs of life.
Terror, regret, anger—they all pour through me. The one thing I know I should be feeling is relief—I’ve finally done it.So why don’t I feel good about it?
I yank open my door and jog toward her, trying to tamp down the guilt as I near. What if I actually killed her?What kind of man would that make me?
Right as I get close, the front driver door squeaks open, and Valentina groans from within, her arms straining as she tries to wedge the bent metal back to its original form.
Swallowing, I skid to a halt, pulling on the door. It snaps as we get it open. Valentina slumps out, and I involuntarily reach for her, helping to steady her as she gets to her feet.
“Shit. Are you okay?” I ask around the lump in my throat.
Do I sound guilty? Will she know?
“I’m fine,” she croaks, and I hoist her arm up over my shoulder. My stomach plummets at the sight of blood dribbling from her hairline.
“You’re hurt.”
“I’m fine,” she parrots, her voice gaining volume. She doesn’t look or sound fine, and as the initial panic begins to wear thin, I notice the overwhelming scent of weed wafting from the open door.
I should feel victorious at the realization.
Still, guilt fills me. She could have died.
But isn’t that what I want?
We slowly climb the bank, the truck lights beaming in the direction of the house. New lights begin moving in our direction, growing brighter as they near, until McCrae’s bike comes to a screeching halt. I brace for impact as his murderous gaze comes into view.
“What the fuck happened?” he snarls, and Valentina’s head sags.She acts like she’s getting a beating from her father.
“Uh, too much fun?” I shrug, plastering on my best teasing smile. I see the mistake it is as soon as McCrae’s eyes meet mine. I’m playing with my position here by acting like she doesn’t matter around McCrae, a fact I can’t risk. I lose the smile. “She’s okay. The new truck, not so much. I helped her out as soon as she crashed.”
