I shake my head. “I’m not ready. It’s not that I don’t trust you, or that I want to influence how you think or feel; it’s just too raw still. Maybe someday, but for now, I want you to see who I’m becoming and not worry about who I was.” The lump in my throat is heavy, and I have to swallow several times to keep the sticky taste of insecurity from pulling me under.
He face softens, a sadness filling his eyes before he finally nods, just once. “I’m sorry. You’re right.”
I don’t deny it. Even though it feels wrong to stand my ground, it feels good too. I’m not doing it to hurt him—I’m doing it to protect me. It’s the first time I’ve done so, and it feels too good to feel bad about it.
“About the wedding.” His throat bobs, and I wait, my nerves instantly kicking into overdrive at his nervous behavior. “Mom will be there.”
I sag, letting out a breath. “Shit, Mateo. You scared me. Yeah, I figured she would be.”
“Is that okay?”
I stare at him.Is he really asking me if it’s okay that his own mother is at his wedding?“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“She doesn’t know?”
I rock back on my heels. “Awe. No, she doesn’t, but I want to fix things with her too. In my own time. Seeing her will be good. I miss my mom.”
It’s the first time I’ve said it aloud.
“She’s going to be so excited to see you.”
I nod, still unsure how to feel about our mother. Mateo always idolized her—both our parents, honestly—and it’s because I took up all the space for the neglected, abused, mistreated child, leaving only the good parts for him. I don’t resent him for that.
I just see our family differently than he does. It’s not fair, but it’s real.
“When can we get started on the building?”
He must sense my need to change the subject. Clapping his hands, he smiles widely. “How about tomorrow?”
FIFTY-FOUR
VALENTINA
March 30th, 2026
DALE: All ready for today?
STETSON: Can I bring anything? Fresh baked cookies or something?
ME: It’s a gym.
STETSON: Cookies it is. I always get a sweet tooth after staring at work out equipment.
DALE: You do know there’s nothing inside yet, right?
STETSON: Even thinking about workout equipment makes me hungry.
Standing outside the building,I admire just how far it’s come in the last three months. I’ve spent almost every day here, making sure the original structure kept its integrity while still meeting all the modern day codes.
I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a total nightmare, but it’s been a nightmare with a purpose, and I can’t be angry about that.
Dale and Mateo are the first to arrive, jumping out of the car with smiles so wide, I need sunglasses to protect my eyes. I smile back, still trying to meet Dale’s enthusiasm but coming up short. I’ve decided I’m just not as bubbly of a person, and I’m okay with that.
I have my own positives.
She squeals as she wraps her arms around my neck. I quickly hug her back, and she chuckles as I try to step out of her grip. Mateo smiles at me as he brings up the rear, but he doesn’t offer to hug me, and I’m grateful.
We’re still working on things, but this project has undoubtedly brought us closer. Not close enough for hello hugs, but close enough.
