Chapter 58 - Mars
The prairie stretches out around me, endless and dry, golden grass swaying in the breeze like it’s got no idea the world is going to shit. There’s not a building in sight, just the hazy line of highway stretching out ahead of me and the occasional car that swerves to avoid me without slowing down.
I’m two days into this hike-from-hell, feet blistered and throat raw, every step heavier than the last. I’ve been sleeping in the fields under the open sky, curled up in tall grass with nothing but the stars and the eerie light of the fractured moon to keep me company, and my shadows wrapped around me. My beat-up Cavalier couldn’t handle the ditch when I tried to go around that cracked-up highway, so it’s probably still stuck out there, rusting away like a metaphor for my whole damn life.
The little bit of water and food I had is gone. I chewed through a protein bar so dry it nearly split my lip and drank the last of the lukewarm water this morning. Every step feels like I’m dragging dead weight, but I keep going, step after step. This walk almost feels like a penance for all I’ve done wrong in my life. Likeif I can somehow keep going and make it back to them, to her, I’ll be worthy.
I roll my sore neck on my shoulders to try and loosen the muscles that are bunched up tight. There isn’t a tree or a building in sight on this stretch of grassland or I might consider stopping to rest in a piece of shade for the rest of the day and travel at night instead. Maybe I should stop anyway for a bit, rest now while the sun is overhead, and use my shadows tonight in the moonlight to move a bit faster.
I’m so deep in my thoughts that I don’t even hear the truck until it hisses to a stop ahead of me. My head snaps up, heart kicking against my ribs. The truck just sits there, exhaust puffing into the still air.
I stop walking, no clue if this is help or more trouble, but the truck doesn’t peel away. After a long moment, it reverses, crawling back until it stops beside me.
The passenger window is already down, but the driver isn’t looking at me. He’s staring straight ahead, like if he makes eye contact, the whole world might implode. His hands are white-knuckled on the steering wheel, his jaw clenched so tightly I can see the muscles twitching from here.
It takes me a full five seconds to realize who I’m looking at.
"Torrin," I breathe in shock, but he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t blink. Then, still looking ahead, he growls, “Get the fuck in the truck.”
I let out a sigh, the kind that feels like it empties my lungs, open the door and slide cautiously in.
He pulls away the second I shut it, tires spitting gravel behind us. The silence in the cab is so thick it might as well be a third passenger. After what feels like a thousand years of engine hum and staring at the empty road ahead, my stomach grumbles loud enough to make me wince. “You got any food or water?” I ask, voice raspier than I expect.
He still doesn’t look at me. Just jerks his thumb at the back seat.
I twist around, grab a bottle of water from a half-empty case and a bag of Doritos. I don’t ask questions. I just down the water in seconds and tear into the chips like they might vanish if I blink. The crunch is deafening in the silence. I’m halfway through the bag when Torrin finally speaks.
“Where are you going?”
I swallow. “Home.”
He snorts. “Regina’s back that way.”
“Not that home,” I tell him quietly. “My real home.”
His voice goes colder than ice. “That’s not your home anymore. You made that choice. There’s nothing for you there.”
My chest tightens. “It’s not that black and white, Tor.”
He slams on the brakes so hard my head jerks forward. The truck screeches to a halt in the middle of the road. He turns to me, his face twisted in rage, eyes burning.
“Tell me right now how breaking her heart during the worst fucking time in her life is not black and white?” he spits. “Tell me how it’s not black or white that you not only abandoned her but all of us too… your fucking family. How is that not black and white? Fucking tell me, you absolute cunt!”
The words hit like fists. Each one a direct punch to my heart. And fuck, I deserve every single one. I stare at him, guilt choking me like a noose. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Because I don’t have a good answer. Because he’s not wrong.
I stare down at my lap, Doritos forgotten. And for the first time in days, I don’t feel the ache in my feet or the pull in my calves or the sunburn on the back of my neck. I just feel the shame of it all.
The silence stretches again, raw and aching, but I don’t get out of the truck because maybe, just maybe, this is the first stepin earning a second chance. I swallow hard and turn to face the pain full on.
Chapter 59 - Torrin
"Tell me how it's not black or white that you not only abandoned her but all of us too… your fucking family. How is that not black and white? Fucking tell me, you absolute cunt!"
Mars flinches under my words, his face crumbling like a house of cards in a windstorm. He can’t even meet my eyes. He just sits there, hunched and sunburned and worn down like a man who’s already bled himself dry.
His voice is barely more than a whisper when he finally speaks. “Luna and me… we were together.”
I whip my head toward him so fast it sends a twinge down my neck. My stomach clenches.
