The artist lineup was stacked, so we spent most of the time singing and dancing to the music. I walked around the festival, taking everything in, and then, when I saw a group of similarly aged people staring my way, I immediately turned around.
I didn’t know who they were, but as soon as the hair on the back of my neck had stood up and my stomach had lurched, I’d known I wasn’t safe. For the sake of my aunt, I’d spent more time in and around Chance than I had my entire senior year. With my jaw clenched and my blood boiling, I took the long way back to my aunt and her friends so I could shake off the negative energy.
Fuck those people. Fuck this town. I’m here for Aunt Addy. Nothing else matters, I reminded myself as I headed back to the group.
As I approached, I noticed my aunt grimacing when no one was looking. When she caught sight of me, she flashed me a bright smile.
“Are you okay?” I wondered.
“I’m good, I’m good. But I’m ready to go,” Aunt Addy told me. “But feel free to stay. I don’t want to rush you.”
“These are songs from your youth, not mine!” I assured her. “I’m good.”
My aunt’s head fell back as she laughed. “Jazmyn!”
Aunt Addy, Monica, and I said our goodbyes to everyone.
“I like you more and more each time I see you,” Gwen stated, giving me a big hug.
“I feel the same way,” I returned.
It was easy for me to see where Lamar got his kindness. It was hard for me to remember why I had been nervous and why I’d thought it would be awkward. Lamar had barely been mentioned.
Until we climbed in the van.
“You get along well with your in-laws,” Aunt Addy joked.
“Haha,” I replied dryly. “Lamar and I are friends.”
When Monica got out of the car at the gas station to fill up the tank, Aunt Addy turned around and looked at me. “You’re friends?” she asked skeptically.
“We’re friends.”
“Does he know that?”
My eyebrows flew up. “Ye-yeah,” I stammered. “What? Why?”
Did his mom say something?
“Just thinking about the way he sounded on my voicemailbeggingfor you to call him.”
“Oh.” I swallowed hard. “He was just…” I couldn’t think of anything to explain it away. “We’re friends.”
She tilted her head to the side. “Is that what you want?”
“I enjoy having him in my life.”
“Jazmyn…” She paused, eyeing me carefully. “That sounds like a cop-out.”
“It would be too complicated.”
“That sounds like an excuse, not an answer.”
“I don’t—I’m not—I—” I sputtered, unsure of how to even respond to that. “It’s not an excuse.”
“I saw you after your dates. I heard you after that phone call. Seems to me like you wanted more.” She gave me a look. “Seems like itwasmore.”
I looked down at my hands. “Well, everything is not necessarily what it seems.” I raised my head and continued. “And I’m still figuring things out.”
