We said our goodbyes and then Lamar drove to Chance.
The mood in the car was a little somber. If it weren’t for his right hand resting on my leg, it would’ve been like we were in two completely different worlds. We listened to music and were lost in our own thoughts. I knew why I was in my feelings, but I didn’t know why he was in his.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, turning the music down a little. “You’ve been quiet.”
He squeezed the meatiness of my thigh. “I’m sorry. I just got in my head a little bit.” He glanced over at me. “And it seemed like you needed a minute, too.”
I gawked at his profile.How did he know?
“You tell me what’s on your mind, and I’ll tell you what’s on mine,” he offered.
I covered his hand with mine, interlocking our fingers. “You first.”
With his eyes forward, he adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. “When Ma called and said to come home now, I thought something had happened with my niece or nephew. When I talked to Bill upstairs, he randomly asked me when was the last time I’d talked to Angel.” He shook his head. “And it’s been a minute, so… I was just thinking about that.”
“Is something going on with your niece or nephew? Why do you think your first thought was that something happened?”
“I don’t know.”
We contemplated in silence as he pulled up in front of my aunt’s house.
“Who’s Angel?” I asked.
He put the car in park. “Bill’s daughter, my stepsister.”
I caressed his hand. “I didn’t realize you had a stepsister.”
“Stepsister and stepbrother. Angel and Will.” Bringing my hand to his lips, he kissed it. “Don’t move.”
He opened the door and came to the other side to get me. He reached his hand out, and instinctively, I intertwined my fingers with his.
“Are you close with them?” I asked as we headed toward the house.
“We didn’t grow up together, but yeah. Angel and I are a couple years apart, and she lived at the house until last year. Will had already joined the military when Ma and Bill got married. But Angel was pregnant at home, and I was in high school, so we saw each other more. We text every other week, but I haven’t talked to her on the phone in a few weeks.”
We stood on Aunt Addison’s porch. I was on the top step, and he was two steps below, so we were eye to eye. I put my arms around his neck, and he wrapped his around my waist.
“Whenever I get that feeling like I need to reach out to someone, there’s usually a reason. Call her.”
His attention dropped to my mouth. “I will.”
“Good.” I placed a soft kiss against his lips. “Then you can start your week with a clear head.” I kissed him again.
He pulled back slightly. “Now tell me what was on your mind.” His hands ran up my back and then slowly worked their way back down, settling right above my ass. “I want to know.”
“Honestly…” Biting my lip, I looked away. “I was just thinking about how when I’m with you, I don’t think about anything else going on. I’m just able to be in the moment.” I met his gaze. “I knew it when we met. I enjoyed it last week. But I didn’t realize how much I needed it until today.” I gave him a peck. “So thank you.”
“Thankyou.” He paused, taking me in. “And I meant what I said earlier. I like you. I want to spend more time with you.”
My cheeks flushed. “I’d like that.”
“But my schedule is about to be crazy, so I may not be able to talk to or see you as much. With Dubai, training camp, preseason, and then the regular season, it’s busy.”
Disappointment tugged at my heart, and I felt the sting of rejection.
I guess I don’t fit into his real life.
I knew he didn’t mean it like that, and I hated that my mind went there. But I couldn’t help feeling saddened that he was preemptively letting me know that he was too busy for me.
