“I want to be there.”
“Good,” he murmured, just as he kissed me.
We weren’t up for very long.
We discussed the game and how he’d played as he prepared for bed. As he snuggled up next to me, he pulled my back to his front. I wiggled my ass against him as I got comfortable. He kissed my neckas he theorized that the two interceptions the Monarchs had thrown were the only reason they lost.
I nodded in agreement. “And even though the defense played well, there are some things that need to happen on offense to close out the game. The long drives resulting in field goals—or worse, no points—is not how you win games. Y’all shouldn’t have lost this one.”
“Facts.”
“This is the best the defense has looked in a long time. Operating like a well-oiled machine.”
“Right? And I know I’ve been getting a lot of attention because I’m the newest addition, but it’s really all of us. We’ve been moving as a unit.”
You deserved Defensive Player of the Month, I thought.
I wanted to say it, but I couldn’t verbalize it. I’d said it via text when Lionel Timmons had been announced, but every time I tried to say it aloud, my eyes watered.
I swallowed hard.
“You get the attention because you deserve it,” I told him. “The defense as a whole gets the attention because you all work well as a group. But when they are talking about you, it’s not because you’re the shiny new player on the field. Lamar, you are talented physically, but you’re also incredibly smart. It’s not just your athletic ability; it’s your mind and the way you think.”
He tightened his grip on me, but he was quiet.
After thirty seconds of silence, I turned my head and looked over my shoulder. When our eyes met, I started to ask if he was okay, but the words caught in my throat.
He twisted so his lips met mine. When he pulled away, he held my gaze. “I love the way you see me,” he uttered, before resting his head back on the pillow and falling out of my line of sight.
“You’re worth being seen,” I returned.
I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me before he fell asleep. But I meant it with everything in me.
Lamar was worth being seen.
He was worth being celebrated.
He was worth being Defensive Player of the Month.
I squeezed my eyes closed as the thought hit me.I really am a social pariah.
In his sleep, he drew me closer and let out a contented sigh. Instantly my eyes pricked with tears. I didn’t want to lose him, and I didn’t want him to lose opportunities. I was in love with him, and I wanted to do what was best for him. I hated that there was a small voice in the back of my head that felt like what was best for him was to not be with me.
Nah, that can’t be the answer, I told myself, dismissing the thoughts.
I had to figure out a way to get out of the public’s eye and shift the focus back on Lamar and his talent.
Not surprisingly, I woke up before Lamar. Instead of waking him up with head like I was tempted to do, I went downstairs and prepared everything for his steak-and-eggs breakfast. I was going to scramble the eggs once the steak was almost done. While I waited, I pulled out my phone to see the group chat was active.
Aaliyah James:Ahmad and I are heading to get breakfast. I’m so glad he took off to come here with me because they are saying it could take six or seven hours to winterize this yacht.
Nina Ford:I’m still stuck on the fact that you are paying five hundred dollars to winterize a yacht you’ve been on twice since it’s become yours. I nominate your uncle to incur the expense.
Jazmyn Payne:You know good and damn well her uncle is going to use that as another reason to say women shouldn’t own boats.
Nina Ford:He doesn’t have sense, and he’s worried about women having boats. He doesn’t own a brain cell yet there he goes, thinking he knows best.
Aaliyah James: He happened to be coming to my parents’ house as I was leaving on Sunday. He told me that I looked happy. Just as I was about to say thank you, he said to make sure I don’t put on that happy weight and risk losing a good man. So, needless to say, I thought of a good comeback while we were driving tothe dock this morning. I just wish I had thought of it in the moment.
