You can miss me, and you can be sad, but do not wait until you’re not sad anymore to enjoy your love, your friends, your family, or your life. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be right. Perfectionism is a flawed way to move through an imperfect world.
Speaking of… your perfectionist parents are imperfect. Tell Richard and Miranda about Lamar so they can stop worrying about the fact that you’re divorced. Because you’re in love and what you and Lamar have is the real thing.
Love always,
Your Aunt Addy
I had tears in my eyes as I read. She’d written that at the beginning of September, and now it was October. In just a few short weeks, everything had changed.
Time was flying and life was fleeting.
I glanced at the clock and then hurried to call Lamar, hoping I would be able to catch him before he went to sleep.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized, noting the grogginess in his voice when he answered. “I shouldn’t have called this late.”
“No, it’s good to hear your voice. How are you?”
“I’m…” I looked at the letter in my hand. “I miss her, you know?”
“I know.”
“But I was just calling to let you know that I’m back home. Thank you for your messages. I appreciate you and I miss you, too. So much.”
“Can I come by after practice tomorrow?”
My aunt’s written words swirled in my head.
She was right.
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I whispered. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
I placed my phone on the nightstand and reread my aunt’s letters. I felt so connected to her and loved by her. All of it was impactful and powerful, but I was overwhelmed.
I wasn’t sure how long I sat on the edge of the bed, but all of a sudden, it felttooquiet.
Grabbing my remote, I turned on the TV and lowered the volume until it was just faint background noise. Just as I was turning my head, the sports network said a name I couldn’t ignore. Whipping my head back toward the TV, I turned the volume back up to catch the tail end of what they were saying.
“… not going to lie, I thought Anderson was a shoo-in to win. But we can’t take away from the impact Lionel Timmons has had on his team to kick off the season. There’s Sunday and Monday to consider with Bikowski still in the running, and he could have a big game, and Jenkins is playing on Monday…”
They flashed the names of who they thought the winners would be based on the votes right now, and they’d all picked Timmons as the predictive defensive winner.
Dread filled my belly with a lead-like heaviness, and tears streamed down my cheeks.
I turned off the TV.
30
Saturday, before ten o’clock in the morning, Aaliyah and Nina were sitting in my living room. I’d slept, but I didn’t feel rested. I was tired, but I couldn’t sleep. So my best friends and I snuggled on the couch, Nina on my left and Aaliyah on my right. None of us said a word while random images danced across the TV screen and music carried through the speakers.
“We can sit here as long as you need us to,” Nina said, squeezing my arm. “But I’m going to order something to eat because your stomach is making beats.”
Aaliyah giggled. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but when was the last time you ate?”
Amused, I shook my head. “Before I left Chance.”
“It’s been twenty-four hours!” Aaliyah exclaimed.
