It wasn’t until I heard how his breathing changed that I thought about what I’d said. Smiling at the thought of me having an effect on him, I rolled over to my side and squeezed my thighs together. “Good night, Lamar.”
We ended the call, and I immediately got up to get a snack. I wasn’t typically a late-night snacker, but I needed the sugar high. The short-term boost from the glucose was going to help me focus onwriting a bit more. Because there was no way I was going to be able to sleep. Not with the explicit thoughts that kept running through my mind.
“What was he going to say?” I mused aloud as I walked from the kitchen with a small bag of chocolate candies.
Although Leon’s shenanigans and Lamar’s storytelling had provided the best laugh I’d had in a while, I resented Leon for coming back to the room when he had. Because my imagination was running away with itself, and I knew that my best bet would be to channel that energy into my novel. And I ended up staying awake writing until one o’clock in the morning.
I woke up for church at seven o’clock and made it on time for the nine o’clock service. I had a lot to be thankful for and a lot to pray about. But I knew I was meant to be there when the pastor started preaching about fear and faith. On the way home, I kept thinking about the message.
Operating in faith is trusting the process. Operating in fear is halting the process.
I called Aunt Addy immediately.
“Good morning,” she greeted me with a little more energy than she’d had on Saturday.
“Good morning! How are you doing?”
“I’m doing,” she replied. “How are you? Tell me something good.”
“I just left church, and the message was about faith over fear.”
“Amen! And how do you feel about that?”
“I feel like I better understand some of the things you were telling me this summer.”
“Does that mean you’re gonna stop being scary with that boy and that book and that school district?”
I cackled. “First of all, I’m not being scary! I told Lamar I hoped we could see each other again soon, and he set a date. The date was cancelled—”
“Because he’s in the game! I told Monica to order pizza and wings because we’re going to be watching.”
“Good. And that sounds good; I might do the same. Anyway,I also wrote more in my novel. And I can’t do anything about the school district rules, so I’m not scared, I just need my job.”
“Still sounds like you’re being scary to me!”
I laughed and hearing her laugh made my heart swell.
“How are you feeling?” I asked her again. “You sound good.”
“I’m good, sweetheart. Don’t worry about me. Because I’m not worried.”
We talked for fifteen more minutes, and when I walked into my apartment, I told her I’d call her after the game. While I was taking off my dress, I looked at the clock and realized two people I cared for were about to have the biggest moment of their careers. So I sent a couple of inspirational texts.
Lamar.
Jazmyn Payne:I know you probably won’t get this until after the game but just know that you are living your dream right now. God has blessed you with talent and now with this opportunity. Take everything in and bask in it. Be proud of what you’ve done and the work you’ve put in. I’m proud of you. Your mom and Bill are proud of you. And I know your dad is smiling down on you from Heaven right now.
Nina.
Jazmyn Payne:Twenty-four hours from now, you’re going to be walking down a runway! Okay super model! I see you! I’m so proud of you Nina. You’ve put in the work and now your dreams are coming true. Love this for you!
Nina Ford:You got some dick, didn’t you? A bitch gets some dick in her life and becomes an inspirational speaker.
I laughed out loud.
Jazmyn Payne:I can’t stand you! I just came back from church!
Nina Ford:See, I thought you were filled with dick and whole time, you were just filled with the Holy Ghost. My apologies.
