“The way you were in Chance. And whenever I asked you what you were doing, you were at your aunt’s house.” He smirked. “I had no idea y’all would be this lit.”
I laughed. “You can’t judge me by my days in Chance.”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I fucked with you in Chance. I like that version of you, too.” He gestured around. “But I like seeing this side of you, as well.”
“You like seeing me tipsy.”
He shook his head. “No, even before these drinks—by the way, what is this shit? It tastes like punch.”
“Right!” I took a sip. “It’s so good. It’s a Malibu Sunrise with a twist. Something Ahmad came up with for her a couple of months ago.”
“It’s good as hell.” He paused, taking me in. “But even before the party and the drinks. The side of you I saw at the dinner table when you were talking, on the dance floor when you went to support your friend, when you wanted to make sure everyone had cake. I mean, yeah, I did enjoy how after you got a couple of drinks in you, you were grinding on me and talking reckless like you wanted me to takeyou up to that bedroom.” He chuckled to himself. “But really, I’m talking about the whole night. I like seeing you happy.”
I took a sip of my drink, letting his words wash over me. “You didn’t think I was happy in Chance?”
He seemed to consider his words before he answered, “You were preoccupied in Chance.”
“I hope you didn’t feel that way when we were together, because I was very muchoccupiedwith you.” I placed my cup on the table and scooted closer to him. “No matter what was going on in Chance, when I was with you, I was able to be in the moment.”
“I never felt like you were being rude or you weren’t fully there,” he explained. “But I knew from the moment we met that you were carrying something heavy.”
“I was,” I admitted softly. “I am.”
“You can talk to me about anything. You do know that, right? After everything you’ve done for me, I got you.”
I closed my eyes. The alcohol was making it really easy to admit things, and I wasn’t sure I was ready.
“Hey, look at me,” he said, taking my hand and bringing it to his lips.
When I opened them, my eyes locked with his and automatically started to water. I wasn’t completely inebriated. But that last drink had me tipsy enough to face my fear.
He shook his head. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me.”
Worry had my heart racing. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you,” I started, feeling my truth welling up inside me. “It’s that I don’t want you to look at me differently after I tell you.”
Concern flickered across his face. “Why would I look at you differently?”
“I like you. A lot. And I have from the beginning. You saw me for me. You didn’t see my hurt or my pain. You didn’t look at me like I was going to break. And I loved that. I was able to be with you and forget everything else because you didn’t know…”
His eyes begged me to tell him, but he didn’t say a word. He silently held my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles.
“My aunt Addy has had health issues for a while. But a few hours before we met, I found out she had a stroke,” I whispered after an extended silence. “The stroke and the rehab that followed took a toll on her, and she is…” I couldn’t bring myself to say the word. “I stayed in Chance to be with her because they wouldn’t release her to be in her home alone. My parents came back earlier this week, and now they’re with her. But I’m going to lose the person closest to me any day now, and it is crushing me.”
He squeezed my hand comfortingly, and I squeezed his back.
“So being with you and having you not know was nice because I could pretend it wasn’t happening,” I continued. “Aaliyah and Nina knew Aunt Addy was on hospice and declining, so it always felt like they were worried about me. And sometimes it was too much. Which sounds ridiculous, I know. How dare I have amazing friends who care about my mental and emotional health?” I gave him a rueful smile before sighing. “But because I knew that they knew, I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t happening. So, when I met you and you didn’t know, and we just clicked… I wanted to hold on to that for as long as I could. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Especially as we got closer, I should’ve told you. I just wanted you to seemefor as long as possible.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He kissed my hand again. “You don’t owe me an apology. But you need to know that I see you, and I like everything I see. Every part of you that you’ve shown me, I’ve liked it, and I’ve wanted more of it. You don’t have to hide any part of who you are with me. You’re funny. You’re sexy. You’re perceptive. You’re deep. I like all that shit.”
“Thank you for saying that, but I want you to still see me as happy, too. I don’t want you to look at me as sad. I don’t want you to look at me differently—”
“I don’t. I haven’t.”
“—because being around you makes me happy.”
His words overlapped my own.
My brows furrowed as I repeated what he’d just said in my head. “What?” I whispered in confusion.
