Did he really want to get into his history with Willa? His life before joining the military had been chaotic. Home life hadn’t been fun at all. Just thinking about it made his stomach tighten.
21
Willa worried that she’d asked too much from Cy. He didn’t need to tell her his history. “You don’t have to. I don’t want to pry.”
“No, it’s okay. I just had a crap childhood. Nothing anyone would wish on another.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m doing fine now. It took a while, but I found a family in the Navy. Now I couldn’t imagine living without my friends.”
The microwave beeped, and Cy adjusted the food inside. She studied him, thinking that his admitting to having a bad childhood was very brave. Guys like him didn’t like to admit weakness.
“I’m glad you found your people.”
He snorted out a laugh. “They are my people. I never thought of it that way.”
“Before Robert, I had a group of friends. They were great. Then he drove them away. I should have left him, but I didn’t.”
“Sometimes people don’t realize how devastating things are until they are out of the relationship. It’s like drips of water. You don’t know how much water has dripped down until you puta bucket under the leak. Then you realize you’ve got gallons of water flowing through the drip.”
She nodded, thinking his example was exactly how she felt. “I didn’t have any buckets. I was lost, and he took over everything, from my friends to where I could work, to what I could eat. It was one thing at a time, so slow I didn’t notice it.”
The microwave beeped again, and he pulled the food out and tested it. “It’s hot. How much do you want?”
“I don’t want to take your food.”
“Honestly, I have more food in the freezer. We’ll head to the grocery store later. We can pick up some food then.”
“I insist on paying for the groceries.”
His laughter filled the kitchen. “No way am I letting you pay for all the food I eat. You can buy one night of food for us, but otherwise, I’ll pay for my own. Trust me, I probably consume three times as much food as you eat. It would be wrong to make you pay for it all.”
She didn’t like his answer, but it made sense. She didn’t have a lot of extra money. Robert had kept money from her, and now she wasn’t making a lot waiting tables, and she still had bills.
“Thank you. I am trying to add extra hours to my shifts, so I have more money.”
They sat and started eating. The enchiladas were good even though they’d been frozen. She liked how spicy they were.
“Stuff is expensive now,” Cy said between bites.
She nodded as she chewed. She hated that she had to live so lean. For now, it was necessary. Maybe one day she would be able to afford luxuries like a massage or maybe a manicure. She hadn’t had her hair colored or highlighted in a long time.
“It is expensive. It’s funny what I used to think was very important now isn’t that important to me at all.”
Cy swallowed the bite he was working on. “Like what?”
“Things like manicures and hair color. Also, dressing fashionably. I try to find good clothes at second-hand stores. When I first got with Robert, he kept hounding me about my weight, and he threw away all of my clothes that weren’t tight.”
Cy blinked at her. “What?”
She pushed the enchilada around on the plate, thinking about what Robert would say if he saw her eating something with this much cheese. Cy didn’t seem to have an issue with how much she ate. He’d suggested she eat more.
“Yeah. I mean, I wasn’t that overweight. I had a few extra pounds, like five or so. I wasn’t wearing skinny jeans, but back then, I had more muscle. He kept at it for so long, I guess I started starving myself. One day, I ate a package of chips. It wasn’t one of the huge packages, just like a two-person package, and after that, he put all the food in a closet and put a lock on it. He also locked up the refrigerator.”
Cy’s mouth hung open as he stared at her, then he straightened his shoulders and shook his head. “Damn, that’s no way to live.”
“No. But I lost weight, and he was happy.”
