“So do old cops,” he’d always joke back.
“What do you think you’re going to hear on there?” she would tease. “Nothing ever happens here.”
He’d shrug. “Keeps me company,” he’d say. And she’d leave him to it.
But now it made sense. He heard the callout on the policescanner. He searched her location on his phone or he recalled where she’d said she was going. She doesn’t know exactly, but somehow he figured out his wife was in the post office they were talking about on the scanner. And he tried to come to her rescue. Just like he always had.
No matter what their son thinks, her husband is still there. He is still the man she married. After her conversation with the younger Robert, she’d almost lost sight of that. She’d focused on the present, discounting the history that preceded it. They are each other’s own, and while their son came out of their union, he does not know their marriage the way he thinks he does. He does not know what they are capable of as long as they are together.
Sylvie realizes everyone is still looking at her and hurries to speak. “Thank you for saying that,” she says. “I needed that reminder. Are you married?” Sylvie asks Hope, ready to shift the conversation away from her.
Hope looks down at her empty ring finger. She never wears jewelry to work. She is still standing in the middle of the circle, and with all eyes on her, she feels her face go hot, as if a spotlight has been trained directly on her. She’d thought only of the safety risk when she offered to come in here. Emotional risk never crossed her mind. She hadn’t thought about what women do when they’re with other women for any period of time. They tell their stories.
“I am, actually,” she tells them. “He’s back in Pennsylvania,” she says, aiming to keep things succinct. She is not here to make new friends or bare her soul. “Where I’m from.”
“Oh,” says Sylvie. “So you don’t live here?”
“I’m living here for a bit while I...” Hope does not know how to finish the sentence. While she does what? Sylvie was honest with her. She feels obliged to be honest too. She clears her throat, knowing that out in the command center, they’re hearing hertoo.Ah well, she thinks,I will probably never see any of these people again, not these women, not the officers outside looking in, not the team from county, not even Bo, who is really Robert.
“I sort of ran away from... everything,” she says. “I came here, to my family’s place, to... figure some things out.”
Sylvie gives her a conciliatory smile. “And how long ago was that?”
Hope’s return smile is a concession of sorts. “Eight months ago.”
“And your husband? He’s okay with this?” Sylvie asks.
Hope shrugs. “He’s just trying to be there for me, give me however much time I need. I went through a pretty hard time. I lost—” She feels the familiar knot that always fills her throat whenever she tries to talk about what happened. And here she is, talking about it for the second time today. She tries again, comes at it from a positive viewpoint. “I saved a woman and her children’s lives,” she says. “In a negotiation.”
Sylvie’s eyes grow wide, and she draws her hands together in a movement that is somewhere between a clap and a prayer. “Well, that’s wonderful,” she says.
Though no one in the room is aware of it, Hope feels Sylvie’s validation hit her invisible shield and fall to the ground. She thinks about the award that Alex called about, the one they want to give her back home, recognition for what she did. But the people who selected her for the award don’t know the whole truth about that day, how she succeeded at one thing but failed at another. Should she tell these strangers the whole truth? Hope opens her mouth to speak but closes it when a noise turns their attention to the corner of the room.
Closing
Chapter 36
Hope turns to see Tommy striding toward her, the dog right at his heels. He stops at the edge of their circle and the dog does too. “Are you going to tell them the rest?” he asks. “The things you told me? You can’t leave out the rest, or it’s not the truth.”
“Oh, and you’re the picture of virtue, Tommy,” says Nadine. She points across the post office, at the small pile of discarded letters Tommy left on the floor. “He tore up people’s mail. He even read some of it!” She looks at Hope. “That’s a federal offense, isn’t it?” She looks back at Tommy without waiting for Hope’s reply. “You don’t have any cause to tell anybody else about their business. You mind yours.”
“Nadine, I swear—” Tommy starts, then stops. He gives her a hurt puppy look. “You didn’t have to point out the mail stuff,” he hisses at her.
“Oh, like they’re not gonna find out after this is all over, Tommy. Like they’re not gonna guess who did it.” The dog gets up and goes to Nadine, jumping up to put his paws on her knees as she leans in for a nuzzle. “Hey, Covey,” she says. She laughs a little as Covey licks her right across the cheek.
Tommy hangs his head. “Well, you didn’t have to make it easy for them.”
“It isn’t like you’ve made it easy for any of us today,” Nadine says. Covey returns to Tommy and flops down at his feet.
“And another thing,” Nadine adds.
Oh no, thinks Sylvie.It’s never good when a woman adds “and another thing.”
“About that day with your daddy.” Nadine looks from Tommy to Hope, making sure she’s listening. “I just want her to know that it wasn’t my fault that you weren’t there. You made it out to her like I’m some shrew who forbid you to go hunting.”
She stops. Her cheeks are red, but with embarrassment or anger, Sylvie can’t tell.
Nadine narrows her eyes at Tommy, then looks back to Hope, continuing to plead her case. “He never even mentioned wanting to hunt that day. How could I have said no to something I didn’t even know was happening? If it meant so much to him, then he should’ve said something.” She points at herself. “I would’ve said, ‘Sure, Tommy, have fun with your dad.’” She crosses her arms. “Unlike some people in this room, I can be a grown-up about things.”
