“Well, that's not what I've got, though, is it?”
He laughs, but it's pained. This thing inside of me doesn’t allow me to think rationally. It only demands that I stay as near to the male holding me as I possibly can. Whatever the cost.
“I think … I know I'd rather have pieces of you than none of you at all. We can find a way to make this work. We can get you out of the marriage. Neither of you want it anyway.” I can't keep the hope from my voice.
“I don't see how. I've made so many promises to get us to this point, and it still might not be enough to win Lukasia back. I want to see you grow old and fulfilled in the sunshine. I want to give you the kingdom you love, thriving and healthy and good. Good enough for you. Because you deserve a world full of beauty and light and life.”
I am sobbing because I do not believe anyone has ever cared for me like this.
“Fuck your promises. You made them without knowing what you were giving up. Besides, What about Lavinia? She wants to stay here and rule Clestraya. We don't need help. We can go back and end the curse ourselves.” I feel like I'm begging.
“Invidia is a demon goddess. She is a parasite living inside my mother's body.” The wine must be really getting to me because he's starting to not make sense. “She's been feeding off her soul and the land for decades now. Sucking them both dry. She is very powerful, and just waiting for someone to challenge her so she can really let loose. We fail, we die.”
“Fail at what, exactly?” I ask, though I don't think I really want to know.
"I must acquire the help of the gods. They will agree to restore the land. They have to. We are out of options. Unless you'd rather go back and be the queen of death and shit, hiding away in the tunnels until you eventually go mental and die."
Did he just say he's going to speak with the gods? I am much too drunk to continue this conversation, but I say, "I'll be the queen of whatever you want as long as we're together."
Raiden
“WE ARE GOING to see my father,” I announce at breakfast the next morning, ready to face the sea god again and finish what I started.
Arina is drooling over a piece of bread and jam, but almost chokes at my words.
Lavina beats her to the question, “What are you talking about?”
“I do not wish to see your parents without knowing we have a solution. We will speak with the sea god, find out his terms and what help he is willing to offer, and then come back for the Clestrayan armada,” I tell them.
Both females look at me as if I've killed their pet. I don't know how to convey to them that I cannot bring a problem to Gideon and Kyrrah without being able to tell them I know how to solve it.
“It's true that my parents sent me away to give me a well-rounded education, but there is more to the story. When I wasfirst born, there was a threat to the throne, and they decided it would be best to tell everyone I was stillborn. They sent me to live with Konnor. He and Demitra cared for me for a little while.
“As I got older, my powers started manifesting in unprecedented ways. Ways that might suggest my lineage isn't quite what Father would have preferred for his heir.” Lavinia's face is schooled, like a true dignitary, but I know I'll get an earful at some point for not sharing this with her sooner.
“Mother didn't want Father to discover the truth—didn't want anyone to, really. So, I was sent to Clestraya. They would visit from time to time, but never long enough for Father to look too closely at me." Arina touches my hand, but I don't need her sympathy. She has had it so much worse than I did. I've been loved by many, and she has had very few in her corner. I am the lucky one.
I pat her hand and give her a small smile to let her know I'm okay, and then I continue, "Their last visit before Father—before King Cornelius—died … I think Mother knew something was coming. She was so scared. She told me the truth. My real father is the sea god.” Both girls cover their mouths, and I want to laugh a little. It feels so good to get all of this off my chest.
There's just a little more to go, and so I finish, “When word of the curse reached us, I sought out the sea god to hear it from him, and he confirmed everything. He was thrilled to have a potential heir of his own ruling an entire kingdom. He's been very … helpful. As he should. Everything is, after all, all his fucking fault."
Neither female speaks for quite some time. Both start to, but then stop themselves to ponder their words a little longer.
I collapse in a seat at the table with them and crunch on a piece of salted pork, waiting for them to untangle the mess the gods have created for us.
I haven't even begun to explain how the demon-goddess fits into all this.
Arina
Nothing should surprise me anymore. I spent my entire life trapped in a curse that blocked the sky and made everyone lose their minds. Including me, I think.
Because there's no way I'm about to jump into this water of my own free will.
Even harder to believe is that once I do, I'll land in the sea god's realm? His kingdom? I am way out of my depth here, and I don't know how any of this works. But one thing is for fucking sure, there's no way I'm missing a chance to meet a god.
If for no other reason than to give them a piece of my mind. I had thought I'd been angry with my father for abandoning me, but this violent fury ripping its way through me is unfamiliar. And it's demanding to be set free.
The gods truly exist and did nothing to stop the suffering of people who were still fucking praying to them, still worshipping them.
