I flop down onto the bed and allow myself to cry. My body shakes with the sobs. I'm lying on my side, facing away from the door, when I hear it creak open.
“Arina.” His voice saying my name is like a dream and a nightmare rolled together.
“Go away,” I croak, the words wet from crying. Tears that I don't even understand. Just days ago, I was planning my escape from him. And now? Now I don't fucking know what. I like him? I've never harbored feelings for any male like this. Never been jealous if a male I liked wanted another.
It's as though my feelings don't belong to me, and it pisses me off. Never in my life have I had feelings this deep for anyone. I don’t know how to deal with them. Don’t know how to stop them.
“Can't do that,” he says, and the bed sinks where he sits down next to me. “There is a lot we need to discuss.”
Right. Now he wants to talk.
“Pretty fucking convenient,” I whisper into the pillow.
“What was that?”
I heave my shoulders with a hard sigh and then sit up. “I said, it's pretty fucking convenient that you want to talk now. About more tangible things than a necromancer stuck in the fucking stars.”
He covers his mouth with a fist to hide his smirk. “I deserve that.”
“So … you're engaged. To the princess of Clestraya.” I want him to tell me I heard it all wrong, and it was all just a nasty trick they like to play on newcomers.
“I am, but let me explain.” Godsdamnit. A new wave of tears threatens to spill over, and I fall backward into the cloud-like pillow that I had discovered is stuffed with feathers of some sort instead of the pokey straw we use in our pillows back home.
“You do not have to explain anything to me,” I say, but inside I'm screaming. I want answers.
“Part of the reason the king and queen allowed me to go back to Lukasia was under the condition that when the curse ends, and I take back the kingdom, I would marry their daughter. Unite the kingdoms.”
“Unite the …” Of course. I am so fucking stupid. He's a godsdamned prince. He can't be with anyone below his station.
“This marriage is the only way Clestraya will send their army to fight alongside The Rhiza. We need them if we are going to stand a chance in this war.” Oh. Oh.
I nod, understanding. A marriage of political strategy. It's bullshit, but I understand being desperate enough to save your people that you're willing to agree to anything.
“You don't … love her?” I don't want to know the answer, and sweat pricks my forehead in anticipation of his next words.
A weak smile plays on his lips. “Everything I've had planned for my life has been excruciatingly unraveled by your existence.”
I am markedly aware that he has not answered my question.
“I do.” It's like a blade to my heart. But then he says, “Like a sister. We grew up together, and she is a worthy ally. I am lucky to have her on my side.”
Right. “I think I need some air.” I roll out of bed and run for the door. The golden rays of the setting sun hurt my eyes, and I don't think I'll ever get used to it.
Raiden
Ifollow her onto the deck.
“Oh great! You told her.” Lavinia says, voice too chipper for the mood.
The look I give her could freeze oceans, but doesn't faze the princess.
“Where are you going?” I yell over the sound of the wind and crashing waves.
“None of your business!” Arina yells back, showing me her middle finger.
There's not far for her to go, unless she wants to take her chances with the Huri again, so I leave her to pace. Then I remember she must be starving. I'd be willing to wager she'd be in better spirits with some real food in her stomach.
As if on cue, one of the kitchen staff comes to the upper deck with a tray of different foods. Most of them are things Arina has never seen or heard of in her life, and I get a thrill knowing I'll be with her for so many new experiences, just like this.
