“Thank you,” I say, reaching across the desk to shake his hand, hoping he knows I mean it. “For everything.”
Konnor’s emerald eyes are misty when he asks, “Do you really think she’ll forgive me?”
His daughter is as stubborn as they come, but I do believe she loves her father. I tell him what I know, “Arina has a good heart. She wants this just as much as we do, even if she doesn’t fully understand what that means yet.”
Arina
I'M NO CLOSER to leaving than I was the first day I woke up in the Underground. And my father hasn’t called on me even once.
My brain is at war with my heart, though. All I’ve ever wanted was to have my father back, but not like this. I’m fuming over the entire situation as I prepare for another day in the kitchens. He abandoned us. And what’s worse is, he lied. Or Mother lied forhim. It’s a deception that sinks deep into my being, and I don’t think I can get over it.
Maybe it’s best that he hasn’t come to see me. At least, that’s what I tell myself as I open my door to head to the kitchens.
A small gasp escapes me. As if he knew I was thinking of him, my father stands on the other side, fist frozen in the air, ready to knock. Or he was contemplating knocking, but couldn’t work up the nerve to face me.
I cross my arms over my chest and ask, “Finally come to explain yourself?”
He drops his hand but doesn’t back away like I expect him to. Instead, he straightens up to his full height, and gestures for me to let him in. Against my better judgement, I oblige. I deserve answers.
We sit in the two small chairs across from each other at my table.
“I need you to know that I thought I was doing the right thing,” he starts.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” I spit. Anger explodes from me without warning.
I knew that would be his excuse. It doesn’t make any sense to me. “These tunnels are full of happy, healthy fae. They’ve been down here for years. You’ve been down here my entire life, and you never came for me?” My throat burns, and tears hit the table as I speak.
He reaches to put his hand over mine, and I pull away. If he touches me, I might lose my nerve, and I need to get answers.
“I was put in a position of leadership and had no idea if I’d be able to keep you safe. Your mother and I decided together that it was the best way to handle things,” he explains, and my stomach turns. “As time went on, we inadvertently attracted some questionable recruits. I think you’ve met a few of them now.”
“She knew.” It’s not a question. Konnor gives a curt nod.
“I’ve been challenged countless times. I didn’t want a target on you. Not down here, and not up there.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “You abandoned us.”You left me with a monster, I want to say.
“No. I never did. I made sure of it. Raiden made sure of it. We had scouts watching you always. We left supplies.” His words are desperate.
Oh.Oh.The baskets. They weren’t from the castle. Still, it doesn’t make up for much.
“Did your scouts tell you she abused me? That she’s an empty shell who never leaves the house, drinks too much, has drugs delivered to her doorstep to numb whatever feeling she might have left?” I hurl the words at him, bracing myself against the table.
I had not expected to feel so many emotions, but they flow from me unbidden as I think back on all the pain I endured alone.
Before I can stop him, he wraps his arms around me, cradling me to his chest as I sob. I want to pull away, but he doesn’t allow it. My father kisses the top of my head, and I melt into his hold.
“You left me,” I whisper between gasped breaths. Something soft hits my hair, and I realize he must be crying, too.
“I know. And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it. I’m so sorry, Arina. Please forgive me.”
There aren’t words, and I feel too fucking vulnerable. My skin is hot and tight, and I do not want to be here anymore. I pull back, barely meeting my father’s eyes before running out the door with no idea where I’m headed.
I fly past a few rebels, mumbling apologies as I push my way through to the main cavern. From there, I take a new tunnel on the other side of the hub. My feet take me as deep into this partof the Underground as I can get before the lanterns no longer light my path.
The darkness is too wide and too imposing all at once, but my eyes adjust quickly, and I’m able to discern a slight elevation in the path to my right. Determination takes over, and I tell myself it’s time to find my way out of here.
I walk for what feels like hours, dragging my hand along the spikes of rock that hang from the low ceiling and shoot up from the ground. The further I go, the damper and shinier the black walls seem to get, until finally they’re soaked and I can make out a quietdrip, drip, drip.
