"I've always been somebody's something," she said. "Pat Myers's daughter. Walden Winters's fiancée."
She placed her hand over mine when I growled.Fuck that guy and his stupid fucking face.
"And as much as I love you—"
She said it. Holy fuck she said it.
"—andpleaseSoren, believe me when I say I'm in love with you, too—I can't just be Soren Sinclair's girlfriend." She looked up at me with watery eyes. "I can't beMrs. Sin."
I pulled my hand back reflexively. Damn, Clarke didn't pull any punches. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. One second, she was saying, "I love you," and then the next she was saying she didn't want to be my girlfriend. How was I supposed to respond to that?
“Huh. I don't remember putting a ring on your finger."
“Soren, that's not— I hope you don't think I'm expecting—"
"You could've said something. I wouldn't have . . ."
Opened my heart.
Introduced you to my family.
Discussed my deepest, darkest insecurities.
I silently filled in the blank.
"It's not that, I promise. It's not you—"
"It's not you, it's me? Really?"
"Please don't go." She scrambled to her feet when I stepped back toward the door. "This is coming out all wrong, and I promise it'll all make sense once I find a better way to put it—"
"I think you were pretty clear. You don't want to be my girlfriend."
She sniffled again. That was all the confirmation I needed.
My chest tightened, swelling like a balloon ready to burst at any moment. The familiar feeling of rejection burrowed its way beneath my skin before going deeper and deeper, all the way to my heart. The one I had all but wrapped in a bow and delivered to Clarke.
And look where that had gotten me.
"I'm gonna be honest, blondie. I'm not really sure what to do with that."
"I'm so sorry, Soren."
It would be one thing if she didn't love me, but that wasn't the case. She did love me, and I loved her. Wasn't that enough? Fuck Diaz's stupid romantic comedy movies starring Captain America. Fuck Clarke's romance novels that she had taken to reading before bed where the couple always ended up together, no matter what. It was all a lie.
Here I was, pouring my heart out to the woman I loved, who, despite all odds, loved me back, and she still didn't want to be with me.
"Please," she begged. My stomach dropped when tears began to fall again from her big beautiful eyes. "Please don't give up on me, Soren."
"Why not?" I said callously, even though I knew I'd regret it later. "It seems like you already gave up on us."
Clarke
Roasters 14-9
Five days, twelve hours, and thirty-six minutes. That was about how long it had been since my heart had been ripped out and stomped on by the man I loved. It was safe to say, the hurt wouldn't be subsiding anytime soon. No matter how much I tried to distract myself.
In fact, as it turned out, playing Dungeons and Dragons with a broken heart wasn't the distraction I had hoped it might be. It was a full-blown disaster.
