"I'm sorry."
He kissed my forehead before tucking me back into his chest.
"You know," he said, "I used to think it was a cool nickname.Sin.Maybe not the cleverest, but still, not every player gets one. I thought it meant I was different. Or, I don't know, special."
I pressed my lips against his pec. "You are special."
His hand tightened in my hair, pulling my head back. "You are, too, Clarke." When he slipped a finger inside me, I gasped into his mouth. "And don't let any motherfucker ever tell you differently."
There was no talking after that. Or sleeping.
Soren
Spring Training: Week Four
"Admit it, you missed this."
Shelby looked up from where she lay sprawled out like a starfish on her yoga mat, her eyes full of venom. "Not even a little, you bastard."
She and Monty couldn't have picked a better time to visit. Their trip to Scottsdale coincided perfectly with our only three-day weekend of the entire preseason. For three days, we had seen just about everything Scottsdale had to offer, from Odysea Aquarium to horseback riding along the Bajada Nature Trail. Monty had taken a million selfies amongst the wildflowers, Shelby had taken a Zyrtec when her allergies acted up. I'd even splurged for the three of us—plus Clarke—to take a private tour of an amethyst mine in the Mazatzal Mountains. One that could only be accessed by helicopter.
That was fucking cool.
Clarke had thought I was nuts, dropping a couple grand on an experience that lasted a few hours. But this was what I hadworked my entire career for, to give back to the people I loved. The people who had helped get me here.
Today was Shelby and Monty's last day in town, and while the Mont-star slept in, I'd talked my sister into taking a yoga class with me. I might have accidentally left out the fact that it was ahotyoga class, but still. She was the one who had gotten me into yoga in the first place. I thought she could hang.
"I'm going to get you back for this."
"You'd have to be able to stand up first," I teased before helping her to her wobbly feet. That class had been no joke, but unlike Shelby, I was feeling fan-fucking-tastic. "You want to grab a smoothie from the place across the street?"
She raised her brow. "After that? You owe me more than a smoothie."
"How about a donut? There's a great place nearby that Clarke found."
Shelby snickered, and it didn't take a genius to guess why. There was no point in trying to hide my relationship with Clarke, especially not from Shelby, the human lie detector. Clarke had spent most of the last three days with us—and every night with me. Hell, she didn't even need me around to charm my sister and nibling. Just yesterday, she and Monty had given each other makeovers for Monty's YouTube channel. And I was pretty sure Shelby had already added her to a group chat with our sister, Sadie.
"You're in deep, baby brother."
"It's not like that," I told her. It was a lie I had been telling myself since we got to Arizona, so at least I was consistent. "We're just having fun."
"Uh-huh."
"Don't be like that."
"Like what?" she goaded me.
"All big-sisterly. Like you . . . know things."
She threw her head back and laughed. "Oh, brother of mine, when are you going to learn that I knoweverything?And one thing I know for sure is this thing between the two of you is so much more than just fun."
I sighed. "That's what we agreed on. No feelings, no commitment, just—"
"Fun," she finished for me. "You should know by now that shit like that never works. The last time I 'just had fun' was . . . well, count how old my kid is, then add nine months."
Shelby, of all people, knew that a casual fling wasn't my usual MO—and it definitely wasn't Clarke's. But just because we were both relationship people didn't mean we were ready for a relationship. Or capable of one.
Together, we walked side by side across the plaza to Holy Smokes, the nearby donut shop. It wasn't until after we left the shop with a boxed dozen donuts—plus an upside-down caramel macchiato for Clarke—that Shelby mentioned Clarke again.
