My sister had lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment that wasn’t much bigger than the one I’m currently renting. She slept on the couch in the living room and gave me the only bedroom there was. We learned to cook together and count on each other. She continued with college to become a teacher, and we helped each other with homework and tests as they came and went.
The picture on my windowsill is the last family photo we took during the holidays. I hated wearing matching Christmas sweaters with my mom, dad, and sister at the time, but I would do it all over again if it meant having them here.
Walking back over to the table, I pick up my phone and go through the text threads I have with Kourtney. She’s busy with her seven-year-old son, Luca, and adapting to the new fifth-grade curriculum she switched to from second grade this year.
Me:I miss you
Despite the chaos of her life, she responds within five minutes.
Kourt:Have you been abducted by aliens? Are you dying? Is this your way of saying you’ve been kidnapped and need me to call 911?
I roll my eyes at her theatrics, but grin as I thumb out a reply.
Me:If I were kidnapped, I’d make it way more obvious. Like ‘tell Mom and Dad I won’t be home for dinner tonight’
Kourt:Morbid
Kourt:But smart
I settle into my seat, ignoring the mess of papers scattered in front of me. It’s been a few days since I’ve heard from my older sister. We both acknowledge that we’re busy and try checking in when we can. But today…Today, I miss her.
Me:Can’t I miss my favorite sister?
Kourt:I’m your ONLY sister
Me:Tomato, potato
Kourt:It’s tomayto, tomahto
Me:Turn teacher mode off, sis. I’m not five
I scowl at the memory of Thomas Moskins calling mekid. The nerve of that guy is astounding, but after reading over his history, I’m not surprised. He’s entitled. Arrogant. Annoying. I suppose he could have called me worse.
Kourt:Is everything okay?
She’s always known when something bothers me, even if she can’t see my face. It’s her sixth sense. Or maybe it was her maternal instincts getting honed to prepare her for Luca.
Me:Just busy with work and thinking about Mom and Dad
Most days, I don’t allow myself to think about their passing. It’s been twelve years since the accident, but it doesn’t feel like that much time has passed at all. Sometimes, I swear I can hear Mom’s laughter. When I do something dumb, like forget to change out my winter tires or check my oil, I can sense Dad’s disapproving stare somewhere in the distance.
Kourtney did everything a twenty-one-year-old college student could. We had shelter and food, and she made sure I got to school on time and passed all of my classes. She helped me with college applications and essays, and never once discouraged me from taking random classes until I figured out what I wanted to do. She gave up her social life for me and never once complained.
Me:We should go out soon and get drinks. Make Brad watch Luca for once
I don’t necessarily blame myself for Kourtney’s less than stellar relationship, but I do wonder if she settled for the sake of stability. We’d spent years wondering if we could make ends meet, and her meeting Brad Fisherman seemed to help ease those worries. I’m sure there’s love there, and they have the cutest kid ever. But I don’t know if she’s truly happy.
Kourt:He’s out of town for work. Dinner instead? Luca can be good
I’ll never pass on the opportunity to love up on my nephew, even if it makes me irritated that her husband is goneagain. I still don’t fully understand what he does, but apparently, it requires him to be gone. A lot.
But it’s none of my business.
Me:You can choose the place
Kourt:You already know where we’d go. Luca won’t eat anywhere else
Me:It’s a good thing they’re cheap
