It’s obvious she doesn’t need me now. Not like she did back then. I’ll always be here for her when she needs advice or to vent. She’s got an amazing job with even better health benefits than I do, and a person who loves her unconditionally.
Maybe it’s time for us to call this.
“What would that do toyouthough?” she doubts, her frown deepening. “You’re playing for my dad’s team. If we get divorced, he could use that against you. He’s already tried to use all of these allegations in the media to screw you over.”
He could do his worst, but it would hurt him more than it would me. “All due respect, Em, but your father is too selfish to ruin his chances at winning a Stanley Cup. Until someone comes into the league with my stats, he knows he can’t replace me. He backed himself into a corner.”
Sure, fresh-faced rookies come in every year. Some of them with talents that I’m easily jealous of. They’re younger, faster, and have better chances of recovering from injuries than the seasoned players like me who have gone through years ofrigorous abuse on the ice. I know, like any athlete, my time in the professional league is limited. But I’ll be damned if I don’t milk that for all it’s worth while I can.
I stroke Oreo’s fur as she settles back down on my chest. She’s been cuddly the last few days, and her loud purrs ease some of the tension coiled deep in my chest. “You don’t have to worry about me all the time. I’m a grown boy.”
“Isn’t it my job to?”
I smile easily. “According to your degrees and certifications, your job is to save sick children’s lives. How about you focus on that instead of prioritizing me? I’m fine, Dimples. I wantyouto be too.”
She’s quiet for a long moment, repositioning in the chair before nodding and rubbing her temples.
I frown. “Do you have another headache?”
“It’s nothing,” she tells me, a little too quickly. “Stress. I’ll think about what you said. There’s a lot to consider. Ronnie will have to be patient with me until I come up with a decision that benefits everybody.”
I shake my head. “That’s the thing. You can’t please everyone. I don’t want you stressing yourself out trying to placate the people in your life. We’re all adults who can handle ourselves.”
I want to tell her that patience can only go so far before it’s stretched too thin, but I don’t think I need to remind her of that. She and Ronnie have been having trouble for a while, so there’s no need to point out the obvious.
“Think about who will make you happiest,” I add softly. “No matter what, I’ll have your back. I will be the dude of honor at your next wedding. Hell, I’ll be the flower girl. You can call me whenever you need to bitch about something or complain about your job. You know that. But if you push Ronnie away…”
Well, I don’t need to tell her what will happen. It’ll destroy her.
“I know,” she whispers, her voice cracking.
“Everything else is okay, though?” I ask lightly. She hasn’t brought up the information I passed along from Honor since I sent it. “Did you talk to the specialist about getting a service dog? You should have enough medical history by now to show them you qualify. And the hospital wouldn’t be able to limit your access to a service animal. There are protections in place.”
Her smile is sad. “Little Bear, it’s not that simple. Getting a service animal takes time, and I’m not even sure it’s right for me.”
“But if you have another—”
“I haven’t had a seizure in almost two years,” she says firmly. She finally stops massaging her temples. “Ever since I started seeing the new neurologist, I’ve been monitored closely. The mass hasn’t grown, and my symptoms have been manageable. I have time, and I’m going to use that time to make sure I help as many people as I possibly can before I need more help myself.”
Time is relative, but I’m not the person to tell her how to spend it. “I worry about you a lot. With you working so much, and Ronnie being gone a lot too, it concerns me when you look so exhausted. That can’t be good for you.”
“Says the man who used to only sleep for three hours a night,” she muses.
I crack a small smile. “Only in the offseason. Trust me, the game wipes you out. I pass right out depending on how much ice time I get.”
And if I play my cards right, it’ll be a lot during our first game. Hoffman seemed impressed when I practiced our drills. There’s still work to be done, but I’ve proven my asset to the team. As long as Mikhail doesn’t get in the way, I should be golden.
“I’m sleeping plenty,” is what she tells me.
“You’re way too stubborn,” I grumble, not believing her for a second.
Does she pretend her diagnosis doesn’t exist? Is she pushing it away as if it won’t be there for tomorrow? “I’m glad your neurologist is on top of it, but that doesn’t change things. Being stubborn isn’t going to alleviate the problem. Your form of MS is rare, and I feel like you refuse to acknowledge that.”
Her laugh is bubbled with surprise. “You’re one to talk about stubbornness. You refuse to even say Winter’s name when we both know she’s always on your mind. Is avoidingherhelpingyouany?”
I don’t refute it. She’s deflecting again. “Not the point, Em.”
“Doesshelike cats?” my wife asks knowingly.
