I pull my phone out of my pocket and get ready to text him when I see a new message from Janel.
And that warmth grows cold quickly.
Janel:We need to talk. Come to my office when you get in, please
My appetite leaves in an instant. I knew this was coming. Last night could only last for so long before reality came back. Thomas made sure every second was worth it, though. My body is sore in the best ways possible.
I force myself to eat the entire plate of food because he put in the effort to do this for me when he didn’t have to. I shower, change, and look at myself in the mirror.
I’m not sure I know who the girl looking back at me is. She’s different, but not in a bad way. I miss my pink hair and my bright nails, and I have every intention of getting them back. Hopefully, I’ll still have a job so I can buy new hair dye and nail polish.
It’ll be okay.I have to believe Thomas is right, because if I don’t, then I have no idea what comes next. I can’t make him fix the problems I created for myself; I have to own up to them. Take responsibility.
Which is why I find myself knocking on Janel’s door not even an hour later. I have to remind my heart not to beat out of my chest when I see her.
“Shut the door, please,” my boss tells me.
The only positive thing is that her office lacks an HR representative. Maybe they’ll come inaftershe breaks the news that I’m being fired. I wouldn’t blame her for whatever she has to do. She had to let go of Cody, so it’s only fair that I serve the same fate.
It feels like an eternity stretched into two before Janel lets out a long breath and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I don’t need to tell you how bad this is,” she begins, looking exhausted from God only knows how many calls and emails she’s gotten since the event.
This reflects poorly on her and her company. She’s worked too hard to let someone like me come in and bulldoze it.
“I’m—”
“Don’t.” She stops me, making me press my lips together. I wait for her to give methe look. The disappointed one because the person she spent a year training did her dirty. But…
It doesn’t come.
“I need you to listen to me,” she says slowly, meeting my eyes with a firmness on her face that’s all seriousness. “I like you, Winter. I like what you bring here. I like how authentic and headstrong you are. You’re resilient. And, for the most part, unproblematic.”
Internally, I wince at the last bit.
She clearly gives me too much credit.
“That’s why I need you to lie.”
I start to reply, thinking she’s about to explain why I’m being let go. Then her words sink in, and I slowly close my mouth.
Because…what?
Janel clears her throat and intertwines her fingers together on top of her desk. “I need you to lie to me, Winter. Because what I’m seeing doesn’t look good, but it doesn’t have to be damning. Not when you have so much potential.”
I’m struck speechless.
She wants me to lie? To deny everything?
“I…” I wet my lips and shake my head. “I’m not sure I understand, Janel. Cody was just investigated and let go for—”
“Sexual harassment,” she says with a singular nod. “Cody was let go because he was creating an unsafe work environment for his peers. He was engaging in acts that made both coworkers and clients uncomfortable. You, to my knowledge, have not done that.”
She gives me a pointed look.
There are so many things I had expected her to say. I’d gone through every scenario possible as I showered this morning and on the bus ride here. Each one led to me being told to pack up my things and leave. I’d anticipated it because I deserved it. No ifs, ands, or buts.
However,this…I don’t know how to respond at all. “Janel,” I try to say again, voice raspy. “I screwed up.”
Once again, she dips her head in acknowledgment. “You did,” she agrees, but there’s a lightness in her tone that doesn’t seem angry or judgmental. “But to be completely transparent, so have I. If you think you’re the only one who’s dabbled in adultery in this practice, you’d be mistaken.”
