And clapping.
I playfully shove her. “You’re so embarrassing. Stop! And why do you make it sound like it’s a present I hand-wrapped and delivered? I didn’t ‘give’ anybody anything.”
She shakes her head. “You let somebody in, and I don’t even mean that in a gross sexual way. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me you did the deed for years. I was starting to wonder if you were asexual. Which is totally fine, by the way. But this is way more exciting than I thought.”
My brows pinch. “Why?”
“Because your client is rich. Wait.” She studies me for a second. “Didn’t you say you were working with him on some sort of scandal?”
I start to answer, but I quickly press my lips together to stop the words from coming out. I’ve been dreading this since I was dumb enough to let him press me against the wall at Furrever Home. Kourtney is going to lose her shit.
“Win,” she says slowly. “Talk to me.”
The thing is, I can’t. Because the second I start, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop. And I’ve never been worried that she’d blab what I have to say to anyone. Any NDA I sign may as well have her written in the clause as someone I can share anything with.
This just feels…bigger.
Because Thomas is etched into my skin. My mind. My chest. He’s everywhere he shouldn’t be. It’s not some random fling. It’s more. So much more.
“Oh, Winnie.” Kourtney breathes out, seeing every emotion wash over my face. She clearly doesn’t need me to confirmanything, even if it’s obvious she wants to know. “Okay. It’s okay. These things happen.”
Who is she trying to convince?
I bat my lashes repeatedly to stop the oncoming tears from leaking out and ruining the eyeliner I spent twenty minutes applying. “I messed up,” I whisper, voice watery.
She pulls me in for a hug. It’s nice, but it doesn’t feel as good as Thomas’s. And I hate that I even think such a stupid thing. “Yeah, you did,” she agrees, not bothering to sugarcoat it. “But it’s going to be okay.”
I let her squeeze me against her, trying not to hyperventilate. “I’m sorry,” I say against her shoulder.
I can feel her shake her head against me before she says, “Don’t be. We all make mistakes. I’ve made a lot of them.” She pauses, takes a deep breath, and releases it. “I’m not saying I condone any of this, but I understand. We can’t always help who we’re attracted to. And sometimes life just…happens.”
When she pulls away, she forces me to look at her. It’s hard. I don’t want to see any disappointment on her face. But when I finally do peek up at her through my painted lashes, there is none.
“I don’t regret Luca,” she tells me. “You know how much I love him. But sometimes I do regret the choice I made in who to have children with. Brad isn’t a bad father, but he’s a terrible partner. And I have to live with that.”
She never talks about her relationship with Brad. Ever. “No, you don’t. Nobody has to settle, Kourt. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of Luca. He’ll be fine.”
Limply, her shoulders lift. “You may be right, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that battle. That isn’t the point though. The point is that we all make decisions in life. And those aren’t always the best ones for us, but they make for great lessons. Weall have to learn things in order to grow. This is your moment to do that.”
She sounds like such a mom, it makes me almost smile. “Do you think Mom and Dad would be ashamed of me?”
My big sister gapes at me. “Are you kidding me? No. No way. They weren’t perfect either. Do you know how many times I heard them fight? I’d have to put headphones on to ignore them when I still lived at home. Nobody is perfect. If they were here, they would tell you the same thing. They wouldn’t love you any less for what you’ve done.”
I know she’s right, so I don’t fight her on it.
She swipes at my cheeks, which I don’t realize are damp. “None of this. You’re going to ruin your makeup. We can’t have you looking like a trainwreck at the event.”
I snort, and the pathetic sound makes her laugh. “Thanks for the pep talk.”
Kourtney winks at me. “Always.” She gives me another once-over after we dry my face and touch up some of my eye makeup that a tissue rubs off. “Are you going to be okay? I can come. Consider me your security. I make a great cockblock if you’re concerned you may fall onto your client’s dick.”
I glare at her. “Too soon.”
She holds up her hand. “Fine, fine.”
I turn back to the mirror and stare at the woman looking back at me in the reflection. “I look so much like her.”
She leans against me, her smile warm. “You really do.”
