My pride. My job. My independence, no matter how limited it is.
His eyebrow twitches, but he doesn’t make a point to tell me I’m overreacting. After all, he’s the married one. Not me. Nonumber of excuses he could make would make that okay if it comes out to the public.
“I got what I needed,” I tell him hoarsely, clearing my throat. “So, I should go.”
He stops me from walking away, and I stare at his fingers wrapped around my wrist. “I’ll drive you.”
“I can—”
“I know,” he cuts me off. “But I want to drive you.”
That’s not what he’s saying at all. Heneedsto make sure I’m okay because he knows that I’m not.
So, I follow him to his garage in silence.
I let him open my door for me in silence.
And I let him go as far as buckle me in.
All silently.
His knuckles barely brush against me as the seat belt clicks into place, but my heart reacts as if we were naked all over again.
I swallow as his eyes meet mine.
His Adam’s apple bobs.
I take a deep breath…and watch him pull away as he closes the door and rounds the front of the car.
We don’t speak on the short drive to my apartment, or when he puts the car into park at the curb in front of my building.
I try to force myself to speak up, but nothing comes out.
He reaches over and grabs my hand, squeezing it once in acknowledgment. As if he’s saying “I got you” without saying it at all.
“I was in some shitty foster homes when I was a kid,” Thomas says, voice lighter than usual. Distant, but present at the same time. “But I didn’t hate it, because it meant I got to escape the people who made my life miserable. I didn’t know what it was like to be in a happy household. I didn’t know what it was like to be loved. Not until I met Emaly.”
He’d told me that before, when I admitted I didn’t think I was capable of love. Why is he bringing it up again?
I don’t say anything. Don’t ask.
Because part of me is afraid to.
He leans against his seat and stares down at our conjoined hands. “I never thought I was going to find somebody who could understand the pain I suffered because of my family. Emaly never could, even when she was ousted by hers. They still loved her enough to be in her life, while mine didn’t care if I lived or died. And I hate that your heart knows that kind of pain, sweetheart. I hate that you’ve been put through hell and back. But I can see how that has transformed you. You’re a better person than I could ever be, because you don’t let that hate go to your heart. Not really.”
His fingers flex around mine before he lets go and lets out a deep breath. “So, here’s another secret just for you.” His head lifts, meeting my cautious eyes. “I have never felt like I could relate to somebody so wholeheartedly until the day you walked into my life.”
We stare at each other.
For five seconds.
Ten.
Fifteen.
My heart drums so wildly I can feel it in my eardrums.Thump, thump, thump, thump.
I let out a choppy breath. “Thomas…” I swallow, my mouth feeling dry and my heart feeling too full. His words absorb into it, growing far too big for the cage it sits in.
