Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN??
I’ll tell you all about it at brunch. Usual spot at 11? Is today still your off day?
You know it, bitch!She writes back immediately.I’ll be there at 10:45, because I don’t believe this is real! I literally started to think you were dead in a ditch somewhere.
You better have mourned me,I giggle like a teenager.
It was a lovely memorial.She includes several lewd emojis.
I feel like myself for the first time in months.
I run back to my room and immediately go through my closet to find something to wear. Kendra will notice the weight gain immediately. I’ll have to tell her it’s just from good food and being off my feet fourteen hours a day. She’ll definitely buy that, I think. It won’t even occur to her to ask if I’m pregnant. I grab a pullover sweater because it’s a little chilly outside and a pair of black pants. They feel tight, but they look fine.
Then, I sit down for the first time in ages and pull out my makeup. It’s a little overwhelming. I used to have such a methodical routine when I was getting ready for work. I stare at each item like I don’t know what to do with it anymore. Finally, I decide on just a small amount of mascara and blush because I don’t want to stand out too much. I’ve gotten used to how I look naturally.
I throw my hair up in a bun and look at myself in the mirror one last time. The change is undeniable. I look softer in a lot of ways. I also look pretty plain and forgettable, which is what I’m going for. After feeling so on edge yesterday, I want to blend into the crowd. I don’t want to stand out in any way.
I grab a purse and throw my new phone in it, a little giddy with the weight of it. I have no one else to call, really. My dad is in hiding too, so I doubt I could get in contact with him if I wanted to. I’ll never talk to Kostya again for as long as I live. Even so, having it makes me feel tethered to the world again. It’s like another piece of normalcy, finally falling into place.
I’m escorted by my guards into a town car. This part is starting to feel familiar, at least. The protocol feels routine. I stare out at the city as it flies by, my excitement growing the closer we get to my usual brunch place. Then, anxiety starts to creep in. Should I have asked her to meet me somewhere else? Will Kostya think to look for me here?
The driver pulls up to the curb and one of the guards opens the door for me. I ask them if they’ll wait outside. Kendra will have so many more questions if they’re around. I don’t know how convincingly I can lie about two hulking dudes dogging my every step.
The hostess seats me in the middle of the restaurant, which immediately makes me feel nervous. I order a ginger tea to calm my nerves and my stomach. A few minutes pass where I try to people watch, but really I’m just looking around for anyone suspicious.
Then Kendra walks in, and most of my fears dissolve. I stand up and open my arms, ready to give her a big hug. Her return hug is almost crushing.
“You have so much explaining to do,” she says into my ear. “I’ve been so worried about you!”
We pull apart and sit down. My heart feels full, but my mind is blank. I can’t even begin to guess how to start this. I decide on partial truths. I found Kostya cheating on me. I called off the engagement.
“I just needed some time to think about my life,” I tell her vaguely. “Kostya wasn’t the man I thought he was, and it made me wonder if maybe other things in my life weren’t what I thought they were.”
“Like me?” she asks sadly, and I see the genuine hurt in her eyes. I feel terrible, but it wasn’t my choice not to contact her.
“Of course not,” I say, reaching my hand across the table to grab hers. “I’ve missed you so much! I just felt so embarrassed and lost.”
“I’m so sorry, Alina,” she says earnestly. “That was a lot for you to deal with. I just wish you hadn’t gone through it alone.”
She doesn’t know the half of it.
We order our food and she catches me up on all the gossip from work. Two of the servers got caught having sex in the walk-in fridge. Eww! Three managers quit over pay discrepancies. The owner is thinking about selling the company off and moving to Florida. All in all, it sounds exactly how I left it.
It feels good to be here and talk to her, but I realize with a sadness that it is the past. I can never go back to working at the catering business. Once this mess is all over, I have to disappear for good. This might be the last time I ever see Kendra. So, in the end, I decide not to tell her about the wedding. I don’t want her involved with Andrei. I want my last moments with her to remain untouched by this crazy web of insanity my life has become.
Two hours go by so fast, and too soon she’s telling me she’s got to leave. My heart aches with the knowledge that I may never see her again. I lie more. I tell her that we’ll have to meet up again soon. She has my new number now, so she can text me whenever she wants. We hug again for a long moment. Then I watch her leave and feel the weight of grief in my chest.
I signal to the guards who are waiting across the restaurant, and let them know that it’s time to go. Now that she’s gone, I feel exposed again, and that feeling of being watched is even stronger now than it was yesterday.
Outside, the cold air feels good against my face. I wait with one guard while the other goes to meet our driver down the block.Everything is fine, I think.You’re just being paranoid. Thesidewalk is crowded, but this street is always a little quieter. The traffic isn’t bumper-to-bumper. So when a van comes careening down the street, tires squealing as it brakes right in front of me, it’s noticeable.
The guard immediately puts himself in front of me and tells me to run. Someone gets out of the van and the two men fight. I hear a gunshot, but can’t tell who fired and who’s been hit. I make it to a shop down the block, but I don’t make it inside when a man grabs my arm.
I turn to him, but his face is masked. I try to pull free to no avail. I kick him as hard as I can, but his grip on me only tightens. Then there’s another gunshot, so close to my ear that I scream out in fear. Blood starts to pool on the assailant’s shirt, and I realize that he’s been shot. I look behind me to see my other guard running toward us, gun in his hand.
The man holding me collapses forward, bringing me down with him. Everything around me goes black.
28
