I know exactly what that tongue is capable of. Just the thought makes me moan and arch into him, hungry for more. This seems to set him on fire, and he pulls away, just enough to start leavinghot, wet kisses against my skin. Down my neck, and over my clothed chest. It doesn’t stay that way for long though.
His hands tangle as they work to remove my clothes. I feel like I barely blink before he’s managed to get me completely naked underneath him.
Then I feel his mouth and hands everywhere. I’m already so keyed-up and I know I won’t last long.
He frees himself from his boxers and slides his thick cock inside of me, groaning when he realizes how hot and wanting I already am.
“You’re so fucking ready for me,” he growls into my ear. “Only I make you like this.”
“Fuck yes,” I whisper, because he’s right. Kostya never made me feel so desperate.
He drills into me, moving faster than I can process. I’m holding on for dear life, desperate from the motion. I feel every inch of him plunging deep inside of me and touching places I’ve never been able to reach even with the best toys. It’s like he was made specifically for my body.
He thrusts again and it’s enough to cause me to scream out wildly, my pussy clenching tightly around him. I didn’t even know this amount of pleasure was possible. My mind is blank of every other thought but the fireworks exploding behind my eyes as wave after wave of pleasure crashes over me.
I don’t even notice when he comes. That’s how far gone I am. I know he’s finished, though, because he nearly collapses on top of me, groaning in pleasure as he does.
18
ANDREI
For a few seconds, I can’t move. I collapse on top of her, still inside of her, my body locked in the last echoes of release, my pulse pounding so hard it drowns out every other sound in the room. Heat lingers between us, sharp and consuming, and the word that nearly escaped me presses violently against the back of my teeth.
Mine.
The instinct is so sudden, so primitive, that it almost feels separate from conscious thought. I feel a need to possess her, to mark her as my own. It’s not the first time, but it feels far more tangible than it did before.
I force my breathing to slow before the feeling can take root. I roll off of her finally, lying far enough away that I’m not touching her and staring up at the ceiling to gain control of my thoughts.
This is exactly how men lose perspective. This is how they end up making mistakes that cost lives. The love of a good woman—no, thelustof a good woman can bring men to their knees. I’m clearly already there. I would give her my entire empire if sheasked me for it. I would burn the world down for her if she gave the order.
Alina’s fingers slide weakly along my shoulder as she tries to catch her breath beside me, her skin still flushed, her body soft and open in a way that pulls at something deep in my chest. She looks dazed, overwhelmed, completely unguarded. For a brief, reckless instant, it feels like the rest of the world has fallen away and nothing exists outside this bed.
That illusion shatters the moment my mind clears. The danger surrounding us doesn’t just go away because we want it to. Time is still passing around us, and Kostya is still out there, waiting for her, hoping to pounce when the moment presents itself. I have to make sure that it never does.
She exhales slowly, eyes half-closed, still floating somewhere between pleasure and exhaustion. She turns her head to look at me, with a quiet, unprotected expression of trust. She isn’t afraid of me. She isn’t intimidated. She trusts me to bring her incredible pleasure. She also trusts me to keep her safe.
That isn’t a responsibility I can take lightly. As much as I long to be near her, to possess her with this primal urge, it doesn’t take away from the fact that I can’t protect her if I’m so distracted by her.
I withdraw from her and sit back on the edge of the mattress, dragging a hand down my face as cold air replaces the heat between us. The distance feels immediate and necessary, even if part of me resents it.
Behind me, she turns onto her side, curling instinctively toward the warmth I just left. Within seconds, her breathing begins to slow again, exhaustion pulling her under. I envy how quickly shecan fall asleep. I’ve barely gotten a full night’s rest since the night I met her.
I watch her longer than I should, wishing I could just sink down beside her and block out the world. I wish I could disappear into the moment and forget that our lives are in danger.
Yet I know that emotion is dangerous. Attachment is worse. Both make men vulnerable, and vulnerability gets you killed in my world. Whether Kostya or some other faceless threat is trying to end me, I can’t afford even a moment of vulnerability.
With her, I’ve allowed myself many such moments. I’ve given myself permission to pretend that we can be something that we can never be. At least, not until I’ve neutralized this threat. After that, our future has to be up to her. I already know that I would throw everything I’ve built away if she asked me to. That makes her more dangerous to me than Kostya could ever hope to be.
I stand and dress in silence, moving carefully so I don’t wake her. Each motion feels deliberate, controlled, like putting armor back on after briefly setting it aside. By the time I button my shirt, the softness of the moment has already begun to harden into something colder.
This is who I really am. Not the man in that bed. Not the man who wants every part of her. I slip out of the room, leaving her to her unburdened rest.
When I get back to the living area, my phone is vibrating on the table. The sound slices through the quiet like a blade. There’s no telling how many calls I’ve missed while I let her distract me.
I glance once toward her bedroom door, wishing for just one more moment that I could be there with her, blocking outeverything else. That isn’t my lot in life, though. It’s a luxury that no amount of money will ever afford me.
“Talk,” I demand into the phone without even checking to see who’s calling.
