“They brought you back. Well, I lent my horse to Oskar so he could ride back with you sagged against him.Iwanted to take you, but Captain Halvor told me I would have to give him Foedus because he didn’t trust me to ride with both you and it. I was having none of that, so Oskar got to bring you.”
“And the soldiers justlethim? They didn’t riot?”
Phile’s forehead wrinkled. “Why, for the love of a king, would they riot?”
“Because we lost, and I injured some of them.”
Phile rolled her eyes. “Little Wolf, you are the most paranoid person I know—and I’m athief. No one is going to turn on you because of a lost battle. In fact, I think it is unlikely that anyone from this camp will turn on youever. They already call you their Snow Queen. If you declared yourself the Empress of the Continent, they would ask what you wanted on your coat of arms.”
Rakel shook her head. “You cannot fathom the distaste and fear they hold me in.”
“Distaste and fear? Have you lost your mind? You have saved them from destruction, slaughter, and slavery. They revere you like a saint, and their children want to belikeyou!”
“The children are a different matter. It is the adults who pose a threat.”
“And you have decided this because…?”
“Experience. Twice since I was first approached about saving Fyran, I would have been harmed if I hadn’t defended myself. Whenever they see my magic, they cower, and I can see the fear in their eyes.”
“Because you arescarywhen you use your magic! If you had more emotional expressions than a rock, it might be different, but you wear the same expression whether you are eating your meals or putting down that weather-boy. Who does that? I’ll tell you—no one but you and that Farrin Dimwit.”
“Graydim.”
“Sure. Look, you are icy calm no matter the circumstance. In some cases, it is good. You show no fear, so the people believe you can do anything—but it is also a little daunting. They don’t know whether they can joke and chat with you because you are so guarded in your emotions,” Phile leaned in, a scowl etched on her mischievous face. “So, of course they wouldn’t show how they revere you—they’re afraid of irritating you.”
“I see,” Rakel scoffed. “So that is why I must constantly be on guard for my life?”
“No…that’s just you, Little Wolf. No one in this camp would eventhinkof harming you.”
“You can’t know that for sure—this is all conjecture.”
Phile snorted. “No, it’s not! I know because Italkto them. You—Your-Sensitive-Majesty—probably know all their names because you’re paranoid you’ll offend someone, but I knowthembecause I interact with them.”
“You’re normal. They would have no qualms in associating with you.”
“Yet again we must revisit the fact that I am also athief! If they don’t worry about associating with me—who might very well rob them blind—they will have no quarrel in chatting up the savior of their family, village, and country.”
Rakel didn’t believe Phile for a moment—friend or not—but she had revealed a disheartening fact. “I’m scary when I use my magic?”
Phile sighed and deflated. “That was mean of me to say. No, you aren’t. You’re just…intimidating.”
Rakel nodded.
“It’s just because you’re so expressionless. You like your magic, Rakel. You’ve told me so yourself. If you let a spark of your joy show, you would be a beauty to behold. But if you stay as tranquil as you usually act…it’s a little eerie that you can do so much without even a quirk of your eyebrow. It makes it seem like the fight, the places you regain, all of it doesn’t mean much to you.”
Phile offered Rakel a mug of warmed water. Rakel took it and drank.
“Just think it over,” Phile said. “I can understand why you don’t want to share your thoughts and emotions with the troops and villagers. King’s eyebrows, you were locked up for twelve years; it’s amazing you’re willing to help them at all! But, please, consider trusting them. Your fear that they will turn on you…it does nothing to aid you or the war.” She eased out of her wooden chair and strode for the door.
“You’re leaving?”
Phile leaned against the doorframe. “Oskar and the captain would flog me if I didn’t tell them you were awake. They’ve been clucking over you like vicious hens until about half an hour ago when they had to make rounds.”
Half an hour?“How long have I been unconscious?”
“Two, almost three hours. We would have worried more, but an herbwoman and an army healer said your breathing was clear and your heart strong.”
The warm water soured in Rakel’s stomach.Three hours?She was uneasy with the idea of being unresponsive for such a time—she was normally a light sleeper and was confident she would wake up if someone disturbed her… It was discomfiting to know that her body could rebel, and she could do nothing to stop it.
