Phile leaned against Rakel’s chair. “Is there some other sort of punishment you would rather he have, Little Wolf?”
“I’m not sure.” Rakel paused, struggling to put her uncomfortable mixture of emotions into words. Aleifr had betrayed her and Verglas. She had trusted him, and he had tried killing her when he thought she was vulnerable. Though she no longer feared for her life, she could still remember the gleaming dagger and his sweaty face when he came for her. “But it seems wrong to imprison him for life.”
Halvor tilted his head back. “He tried to kill you, a member of our royal family. He deserves far worse than to rot in prison.”
“It seems harsh when so many people have tried to kill me—people we have forgiven.”
“You just told me there weren’tthat manyattempts,” Oskar reminded her.
Unsettled, Rakel tried to restore her mental footing. “Yes, well, Farrin tried killing me,” she said. She looked to her love and paused as she recalled their fights, and the way he would always neatly maneuver her. “Sort of…or, rather he did not…but those under his command did. Bunny tried, and she is one of our most trusted scouts.”
“Bunnybityou,” Oskar said dryly. “Unless she had rabies, that could hardly kill you.” He frowned slightly, furrowing his eyebrows. “You can’t seriously be takingAleifr’sside, Princess. He tried to kill you. Halvor is right: he deserves far worse!”
Rakel didn’t agree with this, but deep in her heart, she was grateful he was locked up, andthatbothered her.I have not fought to free my country and myself just to backslide!
Koray whined and set his massive head in her lap. Grateful for the distraction, Rakel gingerly stroked him.
“The way I see it, Rakel’s the one he hurt. Shouldn’t she get to decide what happens to him?” Phile asked.
Steinar drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair. “I agree. Sister, I leave this Aleifr in your hands. If you are unsatisfied with his punishment, you have my blessing to change it as you will.”
This didn’t exactly relieve Rakel’s unease, but rather heightened it. The rekindling of her fears, however faint and justified, were unpleasant. She swallowed and stared at Koray. “I didn’t really want to be involved.”
Halvor shrugged. “Then leave him to rot. Now, if no one objects, could we move on to the point of our gathering?”
Oskar helped Halvor with the map since Phile was quite unwilling. Rakel gave Steinar a pleading look, which he returned with a smile.
Discouraged, Rakel sighed.
Phile crouched next to her chair. “You’ll do fine, Little Wolf. I believe in you.” She strolled off to join the others, giving Oskar an extra sparkling smile as she held the map with him.
Rakel placed a hand on Koray’s head and sighed as Farrin returned to her side. Though he said nothing, she could read the love in his eyes, causing her to reach out to clasp his hand. Seeking reassurance in his quiet strength, Rakel clung to him while Halvor launched into the discussion, letting herself momentarily forget about Aleifr.
A week passed,and though Rakel tried to dismiss from her mind the knowledge that Aleifr was being held in the dungeons, it plagued her waking hours.
It continued to disturb her that she took such relief in his imprisonment, so much so that she was starting to find it difficult to sleep at night. Her agitation was so great that, one fair evening, she abandoned the idea of sleeping and instead crept to the silent throne room. She sat in her glass throne and gazed out through the window at the lake that glowed from the moon’s light.
Koray sat at her feet, alternating attempts to climb into her lap with leaning against her legs. Farrin lingered in the shadows of the room—he had arrived mere moments after Rakel had settled into her seat—and watched her with a narrowed gaze.
When the serenity of the lake failed to calm the upheaval of her heart, Rakel sighed and leaned back in the throne, running her hands over the bubbled glass.
Farrin drifted from the shadows and stood at her side. “Why does this matter with Aleifr weigh so heavily on you?”
Surprised he had correctly guessed the source of her discomfort, Rakel gaped up at him. “How did you know?”
Farrin smiled, making the scar that ran under his eyes and across his nose crinkle. “Because I know you have a gentle spirit, and you censure yourself far too much.”
Rakel was granted a moment respite from his intense eyes when Koray put his front paws on the arm of her throne and popped up between them. She pushed him down, but he gave her such a look of disappointment she instantly felt bad about it, and she rubbed his ears to make up for it. The dog grunted in approval and leaned into her hand.
Rakel tried to sift through her feelings.I can tell Farrin. He will understand where Oskar and Halvor do not.
“I thought I was beyond fearing people,” she admitted finally. “I have come so far since my time on Ensom peak…but when Phile said Aleifr was imprisoned, I feltglad.”
“That’s a normal reaction,” Farrin said. “He tried to kill you.”
“Perhaps, but it makes me a hypocrite,” Rakel said. “I have asked magic users to reach past their fear of being revealed and to live openly, and I have requested that civilians move past decades of prejudice and trulyseeus.” She stopped rubbing Koray’s ears but still held his massive head in her hands. “ButIfail to have the same strength of character and instead fear—perhaps even loathe—a single man.”
“Your feelings are entirely natural, and you should not condemn yourself for having them, Rakel,” Farrin said.
