But leaving her in the hospital didn’t sit right with me.
She’s feeling good enough to stab a dragon shifter and has some members of her team with her. She’ll be fine.
On second thought, the presence of her team was not much of a reassurance given they’d beenwithher when she’d gotten so soundly beaten. But I also knew Killian Drake would soon secure the hospital’s premises if he hadn’t already.
Jade would be safe.
The antsy feeling in my chest that still hadn’t fully dissipated twisted uncomfortably, proof that I didn’t believe my own assurances. I would have said the feeling was the kind of comradery I’d shared with Ambrose, but it wasn’t. It was… different, in ways I couldn’t define and probably shouldn’t try to.
I growled in disgust at myself as I rubbed my forehead.
Is there really any purpose in avoiding the realization when the damage is already done? I can’t dodge it any longer: I care for Jade O’Neil. A human.
Somehow, between her shy smiles, disastrous baking trials, and her fearlessness, she had effortlessly squirmed her way into my heart passing through all my disdain and dislike of emotional attachments to others.
She was important to me.
I’m not on the edge of the danger zone, I’m squarely in it.
Nothing besides Jade’s life hanging in danger would have moved me to reveal myself to Killian. Nothing besides Jade could have gotten me to take full advantage of my powers and status.
I might have amused myself by instigating skinship with her as both Ruin and Connor, but the truth was her warmth and actions had made the interactions downright addicting.
Instead of backing off, I continued down the path—with the excuse of entertainment. In hindsight, my quest for entertainment had worked too well, to the point of backfiring,as it had given Jade the opening she needed to become an important fixture in my life.
It’s even worse than that—I don’t just feel friendship for her.
I’d been enraged that Ambrose had kicked the bucket after his One died, but as close as we had been we still had occasionally gone months and sometimes an odd year or two without seeing each other and that hadn’t bothered me.
Jade, on the other hand…
I laughed and slid my hands into the pockets of my trousers, amused by the irony of the situation. “I’d been concerned Killian was losing his mind and came to Magiford to fix him. Instead,Iended up being the loon who had grown attached to a very mortal—though perhaps not so fragile—human,” I murmured to myself.
I rounded the corner of the hospital, revealing the stretch of the asphalt parking lot, then slowed down and stopped under one of the sidewalk lamps.
I had to give myself some credit—I wasnotas head-over-heels as Killian Drake was for his One. But, given enough time and exposure to Jade O’Neil, I had no doubt that I would be.
As much as I delighted in Jade’s company, as important as she’d become to me, I wasn’t so far gone as to not recognize the danger of my position.
If something happened to Jade, I’d turn into one of those soppy useless vampires that I despised.
And something would inevitably happen to Jade. Either she’d perish in combat—likely, given the lifestyle of slayers and the events of tonight being a sample of her work life—or eventually she’d die of old age or sickness. Whatever it was, something would take her out.
This is why I don’t like humans. Because growing attached to them is dangerous. Jade is dangerous.
Never one to languish, I pulled my shoulders back and forced myself to face the problem with cold and clear judgement.
“The problem of being attached to her leaves me with two options,” I said, speaking into the void that was the cold early morning air.
The first option: I could leave Magiford immediately, severing my relationship with Jade.
I was attached to her, yes, but not yet irreversibly so.
Leaving Magiford—fleeing her presence—wouldn’t be fun. In fact, it would take what little bit of sparkle she’d restored in my life and snuff it out leaving me with the bitter sensation of knowing precisely what I was missing in life for the next few decades, until I eventually forgot her.
Jade was laughter, warmth, and affection—all things I hadn’t felt in centuries.
However, allowing the attachment to fade would preserve my sanity and general wellbeing. It was the wisest, surest choice.
