And I couldn’t do a thing to stop it.
Indigo and Skye had tried to put a positive spin on it and pointed out it might have been worse without my support, but I wasn’t fooled.
I saw how much of the spell my purple magic had covered. It wasminisculein comparison to what it needed to be.
I sighed and paced back and forth in front of my bed. I’d tried exercising and then soaking in my bathtub—which was practically big enough to swim in—but while I was mentally exhausted, the bitter knowledge of my failure kept me up and moving.
Kevin and Steve were sitting on their two giant dog beds. When I stopped to turn around in front of them, Kevin sighed and Steve whined.
I paused long enough to pet each one of them, then went back to pacing.
Muffin was sitting on my bed, looking generally crabby as I passed her. She purred easily enough when I scratched under her chin, but when I went back to my pacing, she growled and flicked her tail.
The lights were mostly off in my room—I still had my bathroom lights on, but I hadn’t wanted to disturb the glooms and shades in case they wanted to sleep—so it was pretty dark.
I glanced at the door separating my room from Rigel’s.
A thin line of light was visible in the small slit between the door and the flooring.
Rigel was up.
He’d been up ever since he’d entered his room at about one—I’d heard his door open and close and saw the lights flick on.
There was something comforting about knowing I wasn’t the only one up.
I paused in front of the door and reluctantly reached out and rested my hand on the knob. “Rigel?” I was pretty sure he could hear me through the door—fae had better hearing than humans and halves like me—but I still opened the door slowly.
Rigel was standing over by his couch—which was covered in daggers, darts, knives, and arrows. A large chest was positioned next to the couch, and he placed the dagger he’d been cleaning back in the chest, then flicked his eyes in my direction.
“I saw you were up, and I just…” I trailed off, not really sure what else to say.
Rigel picked up another dagger and started cleaning it. “You can’t sleep?”
I shrugged. “I can’t stop thinking about the barrier.”
“You’re still upset?”
“Well,yeah! I failed the whole Court! I’m not just going to forget about it,” I snapped.
Rigel stared blankly at me.
I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m sorry—you didn’t mean it like that.” I popped my eyes open and forced myself to smile.
Rigel picked up an arrow and inspected it. “There’s nothing to apologize for. I am surprised—though I should have known better by now. You are different.”
“What does that mean?” I stood awkwardly in the threshold of his bedroom and leaned against the doorframe.
“It means any other monarch would have found a way to blame someone else, or shrugged it off by now. But you genuinely care. It’s why you do so many unexpected things.”
“Thanks. I think.” I glanced back over my shoulder at the unbearable darkness of my room and cleared my throat. “If you’re going to be up for a while, could I—um—hang out with you?” I hated the way my voice sounded hopeful and went up at the end.
Rigel gestured to his bed.
I fidgeted. “Uhhh…?”
“You’ll have to sit on my bed,” Rigel clarified. “All other spaces are taken.” He motioned to the small armory spread around him.
I picked my way across his room and hopped up on the bed. He had a pile of pillows nestled against the headboard. I rearranged a few to lean into and prop me up.
