She couldn’t sit around and wait for him to get home. Things needed to be done and she trusted that when he came home, she’d know where he was. If he was out doing what she thought he was, she wouldn’t get details.
Remedy didn’t need the details. She trusted him. That thought made her groan out loud as she trekked to the bathroom.
“Trust means love,” she muttered to herself. “Are we even ready for that?”
Truth was she was overdue for it. Love was indebted to her and needed to bring the debt current. She was owed a kind of love that came in swift and chaotic, knocking over the things she’d placed at the doorways of her heart to ensure a brutal type of love never found her again. There were walls built up outside of her tender spirit. He’d knocked them down and then cleaned up the rubble in the way. As big and as maddening as his presence was in the beginning, she needed it now. Longed for it, every inch of her craving every inch of him. Not just in a physical sense. His spirit brought calm to hers. Safety, security, sanctuary. The mere sight of that man told her brain, heart, and soul that God had to be real. Because who else was responsible for creating that? Who else could be responsible for making every horrible thing that happened to her fade away.
Remedy dressed in the silence, void of his touch or his compliments or his breathing. She brushed her hair and teeth without a tap to her ass.
“Look at you,” Remedy buzzed, looking at herself in the mirror. Her figure filling out. “Being treated well. One night without him for real and you’re like a sick puppy. Fight back.”
She laughed softly and pulled herself from the mirror. “I don’t want to fight back. I love it here.”
Dressed and ready to drive herself to another day of work, she made her way down the stairs, finding Ernie sitting in the living room. He was seated to see the front door. Just like they were the night before. The aide was in the kitchen starting his breakfast and humming to herself.
“Where’s our son, Cherie?” Ernie asked the moment Remedy touched the top of his head. “He’s gotten himself into trouble again. I don’t know why you can’t seem to keep that nigga off the streets. You won’t even let me do what I need to do.”
Remedy pulled in a deep breath and sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ll go find him and I’ll leave him with you.”
“You full of shit. You left him with me once and then blew up about me having my hoes around him. What part of the game is that where you leave me and get mad about what the fuck I do? Huh?” Ernie grunted. “Got them niggas breaking in my shit because you told them some bullshit.”
“I said I was sorry,” Remedy replied. “I’ll go find him and you rest. Okay?”
“I won’t rest until he’s back. Last time he left, he was gone too long,” Ernie spoke, looking at Remedy. There was that look in his eye, the same one from last night. Different than before when he was semi-present. Ernie was living a suppressed memory. A continuum of grief. “Got that nigga talking to you crazy and won’t come the fuck home. Dumbest damn shit you ever did.”
Remedy pulled in a breath after she kissed him and walked into the kitchen.
“He might be agitated today,” Remedy announced, grabbing a piece of bacon off the plate.
“Yeah, I noticed he didn’t seem like himself when I woke him up this morning. He kept grumbling about someone coming in his house to take his shit. I didn’t know that meant so I just redirected him,” the aide shared. “He was telling me about a strawberry cake.”
“I’ll make it for him. I’ll be home in a few hours. If you need me or if he gets erratic, call me. I’ll come home,” Remedy shared, grabbing her phone, and keys.
“Here. I got a text early this morning from Mr. Moore. He said to make sure you eat,” she shared, handing Remedy a container packed with a bacon, egg, and cheese on a warm croissant and fruit.
A smile crossed her face. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” the woman buzzed, watching Remedy leave with what was left of her sanity.
She drove to the warehouse, worked diligently on the next shoot and came home. No Erys and no answers for Ernie. Every second without him felt like the darkness was creeping back in. Her fear starting to strangle the crop that assurance and affirmation planted.
Mouth: just tell me you’re okay…that’s all I need.
Mouth: please…
No reply. She sat through dinner with Ernie distracting him with everything else other than what he wanted to know. Two days of this and by day two of no answers, her mind was starting to create scenarios of its own.
“Can I see the cream look against the brown staging? That was the last look of the night,” Remedy called out.
She was trying to keep herself from going home and facing the silence she had the night before. The aide agreed to stay longer and tire Ernie out so she could get some sleep. Ernie was the least of Remedy’s worries. She knew how to manage their world, she just didn’t want to.
The shoot wrapped, the models were gone, the photographer was packing up and Remedy was at the production table with the branding specialist and art director. Vibrance went to print in four days and they were diligently working on the final mock up before sending it off to production and media.
It was an hour and a half that wasn’t spent studying her phone for a response or call. With everything they needed, Remedy was left walking out of the building toward her car. Erys’ all black fit against the pearl white put her at pause. There was something in his hand that she couldn’t make out until she got closer.
Fresh clothes, clean face, clean shoes and now an attitude, because if he had time to shower and change, he had time to tell her he was okay. She looked him over again.
“So wherever you been, you couldn’t let me know you were okay?” she snipped. “A thumbs up, a fuck you. Anything could’ve been better than nothing.”
