“You said not even five hours ago that I was his son and I needed to do something. He’s leaving in the morning. I’m doing something. You’re free now.”
“I’m free now? What type of fuck shit are you on? In the last day, you have proven to be a lot but ain’t shit isn’t what I pinned you for. When I said do something, I didn’t mean lock him up and forget about him!”
Erys started to walk away from her. Not because she wasn’t right but because the pressure she applied was different. “He forgot about me, the fuck you barking at me for?”
“‘Cause that’s your daddy, nigga. People would kill to have half the man he is and you’re just going to lock him up? He’ll be dead before the end of the year!” Remedy protested, tears sprouting in her eyes.
“How you know that? You’ve only known him a year. I’ve known him all my life,” Erys shot, turning around to look down at her.
“Because he’ll stop living. He’ll stop remembering or trying. He’ll give up. And I know that from being around him for a year. You’ve known him your whole life and can’t see that the man fuckin’ misses his son and he mourns the life he almost had. Whether he’s in the present or all those years ago.”
Erys shook his head trying to find no logic in what she’d said. “He needs assistance we can’t give him.”
“He needs some fuckin’ love,” Remedy huffed, swiping her face free of tears. “He needs love. It’s that fucking simple. Understand this, if I come back here tomorrow and he’s gone, you better call and let Piedmont Assisted Living Home know that I’m coming too.”
“You in love with my pops or something?” Erys posed.
“I’ve already told you. He’s the only friend I got. So yeah, I love him. And I won’t let you or no one else do whatever because you don’t know what it is to love someone,” Remedy shot back, ending the back and forth. “I hope when he finds out what the fuck you did, he kicks your black ass from here to Fort Wraith. Ol bitch ass nigga.”
In the height of her anger she could feel his eyes on her as she stomped away. The minute she was behind closed doors, she covered her mouth and screamed into her hand. Ernie had been the only ray of sunshine in her life since returning to the real world. Without him in it, she couldn’t understand how she was going to find the motivation not to quit.
She sobbed until she fell asleep, something she hadn’t done since her life imploded. When she pulled her swollen eyes open, it was two in the morning and she could hear Ernie tapping his cane against her window. Remedy pulled her tired body from thebed and shuffled to the door. Upon opening it, she found him standing at the door.
“You can’t sleep?” she questioned, watching him walk in and ease down on her sectional.
“He’s trying to send me away,” he shared. “I heard him on the phone before he left. What I do to him that so bad he wants to send me away?”
Remedy secured the door and sat by him.
“Cherie, I just wanted to be a father to the boy. You took him and ran off. What I do that was so fuckin’ bad that you ran off like that?” Ernie asked, looking over at Remedy. “Look at how he turned out? He fuckin’ hates me. ‘Cause he looks like me, talks like me, walks like me. I never gave my seed to no one but you and you turned him against me.”
Remedy shut her eyes hearing the pain in his voice. She had no words to say. Nothing to break him out of the hallucination or to comfort him. All she could do was be present like she’d been.
“Did you ever love me, Cherie? Or was that just some bullshit to keep yourself safe? Huh?” Ernie rumbled.
“Ernie…” she softly spoke, reaching over to hold his aged hand. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise.”
“You got to help me with my boy before he grows into a man that resents me. You got to help me, Cherie,” he softly pleaded.
“I will. I promise.”
For Remedy, that promise was loaded and meant she had to do exactly what she didn’t want to – be in Erys’ presence.
6
Morning came with a knock at the door and Ernie’s low snores from the couch. Remedy was up most of the night letting the tears fall from her eyes while envisioning what her life would be without Ernie next door. What was she supposed to do with her time if every free moment wasn’t full of taking care of him? Who was going to look at all that she was and wasn’t and still smile when she walked in a room?
It was heartbreaking but the reality of this was Ernie wasn’t her father. Her father was in Cashmere Lakes living high on the hog and moving through his prestigious world like Remedy never existed. Her father, her violator, her mother, and siblings, all living their lives with no regard for her. That only forced her tears to fall more during the midnight hour she’d spent staring at him until she passed out. Now her eyes were puffy and dry. She cried out her contacts and was forced to pull her out of date prison-issued prescription glasses out of her nightstand drawer and shuffle to the door.
She knew who was on the other side and didn’t give a damn how she looked because he didn’t give a damn about taking the only person she truly had in this world from her. She yanked it open, looked at him through her lenses and scoffed.
Erys really shouldn’t have been so handsome. Even brown skin, no tattoos she could see. Nothing but brawn on an athletically-built body and a prickish personality.
“He’s sleeping on the couch,” she muttered, skirting her eyes from him. “Is it time to snatch him up and lock him away?”
Erys swayed his head, taking her in the same way she’d done him moments before. It was the glasses on her face, her natural pout, and wild hair. She truly didn’t care about him or anything he had going on and that lent itself to be his driving force.
“They won’t be here ‘til one. Two things; I don’t know what to pack for him and this was on your door,” he replied, handing her the red notice from the county.
