She looks down at the floor and exhales slowly before shaking her head. “Sorry that Vex found you? Sorry, I had to fend him off? Sorry, I had to decline his attempts to make me work for him. Sorry, I had to dissuade him from Kiera? Sorry that I had to lie to the police. Which one exactly are you sorry for, Mercs? There’s just so damn many.”
Every word lands like it should.
Hard.
“All of them,” I say without hesitation. “I hate that you even had to talk to that piece of shit, let alone fend him off in any way. But what I’m truly fucking sorry for is not telling you I was in debt… a gambling debt.”
When I open my eyes again, hers are glossy.
Not angry glossy.
Hurt glossy.
Goddammit!
“I had no idea… none,” she says quietly. “I never pictured you as a gambler, Mercs. And online gambling too? I mean, you were twenty thousand dollars in debt. How the hell does that happen?”
“I’m not an addict.” The words come fast and way too defensively. I force myself to breathe through the pain. “I didn’t do it for fun. I only did it once. And I did it for a reason, Effa.”
She snorts, a short, disbelieving sound, and turns away from me. Standing, she starts pacing the hospital room, her armsfolded tight across her chest. “What the hell possible reason would you need to gamble for?”
I grit my teeth and shift, pushing through the sharp protest in my ribs as I try to sit up higher. The bed creaks slightly while I drag myself upright, sweat prickling across my skin from the effort alone. “I wanted the money for Kiera’s procedure,” I bite out. “I talked to Tyler fromFort Affliction… this was way before you met them and before I even fathomed that all of you would come to Ligonier. He told me aboutSportsharkand Vex and that if I bet on a particular horse, it would be a sure thing, and I would win. If I won, I would have had some money to at least get things started for Kiera’s procedure, but the fucking horse didn’t even finish the damn race.”
The memory still makes my jaw clench.
She scoffs again, shaking her head as she turns back to me. “So you went to a gambling site instead of coming to me? Even after we discussed being honest with each other?”
I hang my head, shame pressing heavier than the morphine haze. “I know how stupid it was, Eff. Trust me, I know. I was desperate, and I let people get inside my head.”
Her eyes narrow. “What do you mean? Don’t tell me this is a Jett-fucking-thing again?”
I exhale slowly. “That shit’s been ringing in my ears ever since Jett said it. I didn’t want to ask you for the money. I fucking wanted to find a way out… myself. Plus, let’s face it, you’ve already given my family more than enough.”
She throws her hands in the air. “You’re a complete idiot! I know you’ve been the breadwinner for a long time now, that you’ve been the man of the house, and you feel like you have to be the provider. But Mercs, it’s okay to let someone else be the provider, and just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean that I shouldn’tbethat provider.”
“Fuck! Eff, you might as well chop off my balls.” I drag a hand down my face, wincing at the tenderness. “This whole thing has been one gigantic clusterfuck, and I’ve let you become involved in something you were never even supposed to know about. I don’t want you paying for my fucking mistakes.”
“So, what… Mercs? Your pride’s a little damaged because you couldn’t get the money you needed for Kierayour way? But think about it for five fucking seconds… by finding me and by me giving you the money, thatwasyou finding the money for her treatment, you dickhead. You did it all for Kiera, and if you told me about this stupid fucking gambling debt, I could have helped you with that too.”
Her voice cracks slightly at the edges, but she keeps going. “The thing is, Kaden. I know money is an issue for you. You’ve had to work hard for it your entire life. And I have it flowing in, in bucketfuls. So, you know what… I’m happy to give it to you. I don’t need it. Just in case you missed the memo, I don’t tend to spend money on expensive things. So if I can use it for something amazing like curing your sister or pulling you out of a bad situation, I’d much rather that than buying another pair of fucking shoes.Am I getting through to you?”She reaches for my hand again.
I take a deep breath and nod. “Yes. But—”
“No damn buts, Kaden. Just shut up and accept what I’m saying.”
I huff out a breath despite the pain. “Problem is, Eff… pride’s a bitch sometimes.”
“Yeah, well… your woman is a bitch when she needs to be. So, I’ve taken care of your little gambling debt. You don’t need to worry about that anymore.”
My eyes snap open fully now. “You—”
She lifts her hand, cutting me off immediately. “No arguments on this, Mercs. I wanted Vex out of our lives, and sonow he’s gone, for good. But I swear… if youever, and I meanever, go behind my back again or forget to mention anything this serious to me, I’ll be the one holding the baseball fucking bat.”
A laugh slips out of me before I can stop it. It hurts like hell, but it’s worth it. I rub the back of my neck gently. “Is it weird I’m kinda turned on by you right now?”
She rolls her eyes, but there’s the faintest flicker of a smile tugging at her mouth. “Yes. Shut up! Now rest and recover. You’ve got some pretty good injuries, mister,” she reminds me as she moves closer, fluffing the pillows behind my back with careful hands.
I glance down and notice my leg propped up slightly on a pillow, bruises peeking out from beneath hospital blankets. I shift carefully, pain flaring along my torso like a warning shot.
