He shakes his head. “I can’t yet. We have to wait until everything’s in place.”
“Fine. But when the time comes, don’t wait. Don’t youdarewait.”
He winces, nodding softly. Then he pulls me in and kisses me, slowly, gently, just a brush of lips, but it says everything.
“I wish I’d told you sooner,” he murmurs. “Finding out the way you did, that must’ve gutted you.”
“It did,” I admit. “It was all I could do not to fall apart.”
He leans back just enough to study me. His jaw clenches as I continue, “I’m so sorry, Mercs. For Kiera, for what you’re carrying. And I want you to know, if you ever need to talk, if you need to cry, rage, or fall apart, that I’ll be here. You won’t be less of a man to me. You’ll be more of one for letting me in.”
His eyes shut for a beat, then reopen, and they are burning with gratitude and grief. “I hate being away from her while she’s sick. I hate missing time that could be her last. But I’m doing it to try to extend her life.Catch-22, right?” He exhales. “I couldn’t handle it alone. But now that I have you, maybe I don’t have to.”
“You don’t,” I say firmly. “Whatever you need, you tell me.” I wrap my arms around him and kiss him with everything I have, pouring all my love and strength into him.
He kisses me back, soft but desperate.
I’ll be what he needs.
I’ll be his anchor.
His safe place.
His strength.
Hell, I’ll pay for her treatment myself if it’ll help save her.
And I’ll do itwithouthesitation.
***
After our chat and spending some quality time together, Mercs had to leave to get set up for tonight’s concert.
With everything that’s happened, my chest feels tight, my thoughts messy. I need to center myself and find my calm. I roll out my yoga mat, turn on my positive affirmation tracks, and light some incense to shift the heavy energy still clinging to me.
Waves crash gently in the background while the seagulls call in the distance. The familiar soundscape soothes me as the soft scent of jasmine and juniper fills the room, making it homey, grounding, and warm. This is my place, my sacred space, where the chaos outside fades, replaced by soft ocean tides and gentle mental clarity. I close my eyes, focusing on my breath, the movement of the water, the way it laps at my spirit.
I’m in the middle of a downward dog when light footsteps break through the stillness.
I glance up to see Kristy entering the green room.
Just like that—zen gone.
She doesn’t even look up, head buried in her phone as she walks over and sits on the sofa like she owns the place. I follow her, dropping onto the seat beside her.
She gives me a small smile, eyes still locked on her screen. “Hey, Effa.”
I frown and nudge her shoulder. “How did you even know it was me when you’re so lost in whatever’s going on in your phone?”
She taps her screen, then glances at me with a knowing smirk. “Jasmine and juniper, ocean waves…. has you written all over it. Plus, who else would be here this early?”
I sigh, leaning back and noticing her phone screen—our Instagram account.
“And what brings you in early?”
She shrugs, casually. “The TV in my room’s busted, and Alana’s busy. Thought I’d come get some behind-the-scenes shots for the fans. Pre-concert arena vibes.”
I nod, appreciating her dedication, then I slump further into the cushions. The yoga helped, for a bit. But now that I’m still again, the weight of everything Mercs shared crashes back in. The haunted look in his eyes, the way he saiddying, it all sits heavy in my chest.
