I bring Delilah with me into one of the partially finished suites—the one that is supposed to be mine one day—then pause, drawing her before me. “I want to make sure you’re okay.” Gripping the back of my neck, I tug on it as I consider what the best approachto any of this might be. My eyes flick to hers. “First, I thought you could benefit from talking to someone if you need to. I—” Pausing, I catch the inside of my cheek with my teeth. “I could be that person for you. None of this can be easy,” I mutter, then wait a few beats, watching as emotion flickers over her face. “After everything that happened yesterday.” My breath hitches and my hand squeezes hers. “Are you…okay?”
Cautiously eyeing me, she opens her mouth to speak but then thinks better of it and swallows hard as if trying to ingest something unpalatable. Blinking rapidly, her tone is insistent as she murmurs, “I’m as well as could be expected, Cross. It was”—she pauses to wet her lips—“traumatizing. I’ll be fine.”Will she? Fuck, I feel awful.“There’s nothing to be done. It’s not like we can change what happened.” She gives a one-shouldered shrug, then swipes her fingers under one eye and clears her throat.
Fuck. Is she crying? I can’t quite tell.Releasing her hand, I spread the blanket borrowed from Henry’s room out on the floor. “Let’s sit for a minute.” Delilah looks at me like I’ve lost it—rightfully so—but allows me to help her be seated. I clear my throat, eyes wandering over her. “How about… physically? Are you—?”Fuck. Did I hurt you? Did I cause more than emotional damage?I want to scream all those things, but don’t know how.
A moment later her shoulders lift a fraction before falling again. Drawing her legs to her chest, her gaze wanders over me while I sense she’s searching for theright words. “You know, I was back to my chores. Working and everything. I’m mostly fine.” She heaves out a breath, looking away.
The exhale I release is unsteady. “You’re sure?”I’m not so certain, and the way she’s torn her focus from me doesn’t inspire confidence.I hadn’t really known what I was doing when I pulled that thing out of her, and I’m fucking worried, even though the research I’d done later that night led me to believe I handled the removal as best I could have under those circumstances.Still.It’d been a tense situation, and I would have taken more care if there’d been time. Fuck, I still can’t believe women walk around with those things inside them to prevent conception. I bite down on my lip.Fuck.Or maybe I can?
Several beats go by before she finally mumbles, “The removal irritated things a bit at first, I think.” A pink stain washes over her cheeks. “I’m a little… crampy. But I think I’m okay.”
Relieved, I exhale. “All right. I could?—”
With a roll of her eyes, Delilah murmurs, “Check?” Shaking her head, she stares at a spot somewhere over my shoulder.
“Well, yes.” My face heats at the idea that’s popped into my head. “But there might be other things that could help.”
Her brow arches. “Medication?”
I huff out a laugh. “Wish I could do that for you.” At her curious expression, I grimace. “That stuff’s kept underlock and key.”
“Oh. No biggie.”
“Let’s come back to that, because I do have an idea.” Studying her for a moment, I cock my head to the side. While staring into the depths of her blue eyes, regret and anger and a million other things wash over me. I don’t have a clue why everything is hitting me so hard right now, even after she’s assured me she’s okay. A heavy sigh falls from my lips. Eyes crashing shut, I ponder for several seconds how to put words to any of what’s running through my mind. “Lilah”—my voice breaks on her name, and it’s all I can do to continue—“I need to say something.” Both hands dive into my hair, and my fingers thread through the strands as I use them to rake over my skull. “It makes me sick, what happened in that room.”And I will never forgive myself if it fucking broke you.
THIRTY
CROSS
When Delilah’sfingers brush over my forearm, it makes my breath stutter. Big blue eyes stare curiously at me as mine finally reopen. “Thank you,” she whispers. “For helping me.”
I blink, hardly knowing what to say. “How could I not?”
She shrugs. “You didn’t have to. I’m not stupid. You could have ripped that thing right out of me, like your father told you to.”
I incline my head, holding her gaze. “I couldn’t have lived with myself. Only want to help people,” I mumble, my eyes drifting closed, shielding myself from what her response will be.After everything I’ve done…Her hand is still on my arm, fingers gripping me securely. I drag in a breath.
The next thing I know, Delilah’s warm body presses against my side. Angling my head, I look down at her, then hesitantly lift my arm and tuck it aroundher waist. As I drag her closer, she tucks her face against my neck as her arms wrap around my neck.
This girl—she isn’t the behavioral problem the Collective would have everyone believe. She’s only ever responded to the way she’s been treated. I stare down at the top of her blonde head for a moment, tracking the gentle rise and fall of her back as she breathes and hangs onto me. “Not gonna let them hurt you.”
Her chest jerks against mine as she eases back to stare into my eyes. The pressure of her teeth as they clamp down on her lip leaches it of all color. She nods. “I-I know that now.” There’s a turbulence in her gaze. Uncertainty. And I deserve that.
Something inside me softens. “Lilah,” I murmur, liking the way her nickname rolls off my tongue as I lightly catch her chin with my thumb and forefinger. My lungs practically seize in my chest as I bring my lips to within a hair’s breadth of hers. The rise of her chest as she works to swallow catches my attention.Fuck. Who am I kidding?Everything about her has me enthralled.
I refuse to make the first move, though. Instead, I wait. My patience is rewarded only a moment later as she leans in, brushing delectably soft lips over mine. I would have waited forever for her to do that. Cupping the back of her head with my hand, I tug her body more securely to me with the other and give in. “Wanted to taste you for so fucking long.”
Those words rumble from my chest as I lick into her mouth, hesitant at first. But then, ourtongues become a riot of strokes and plunges as we explore each other. I nip at her lip, and she sucks mine into her mouth before colliding again into a frenzy of need.It feels right like this, all heat and fury.Nothing between us has ever been delicate. I twist with her in my arms, shifting to bring her back to the floor beneath me. Slender limbs wind around me, holding me close.
Every minute adjustment in the position of our bodies has the flames between us rising, and the blood rushing in my head is so fucking loud, I can hardly think. “Orgasms,” I whisper against her mouth. “I read they help with cramping. That’s what I was going to suggest earlier.” I slowly shift to her side when she doesn’t respond and rest my hand on her stomach. Hesitating a moment, I whisper, “Can I touch you?”
Her brows crash together, and she glances down her body, then back to me, expression uncertain. “Do you really think it’ll help or is it just a ploy to get into my pants?”
“You’re not wearing pants,” I whisper.Fuck.Sounds like one of Malakai’s weird turns of phrase.
She stares at me, biting down on her lip for a beat. “It’s a figure of speech.” Shaking her head, she huffs. “I’m just asking if you’re just using this as an excuse to get your dick wet.”
My lips twist with mild chagrin.Oh.“I get it now.” I smile crookedly. “While I would die for the chance to do that, I really am trying to help.”
