TWENTY
ARROW
The steamingbowl of oatmeal in front of me seems unpalatable at best this morning. At my side, Evren shovels one bite after another into his mouth while absently rubbing at his chest. I glance at him, frowning before picking up my spoon with a sigh. I’m not in the mood for much of anything. Guilt weighs heavily on me. The last glimpse I’d had of my siren before she’d been taken outside had made me fucking ache.
I meant to sneak out to see her last night, but for the first time in a long while, I’d dropped into a deep sleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. The entire day had been taxing, both emotionally and physically, and apparently, I’d been exhausted enough that not a thing was going to wake me… not until my own dark dreams had come calling, anyway. By the time that happened, it was far too late—or early, rather—to try to leave the building unseen.
Fuck.Will Delilah think I forgot she was out there? My insides twist into knots at the thought of it, and I heave out a breath. Why should my stomach be full when hers isn’t? Why did I get the luxury of a place to rest last night and clothing to keep me warm while she had to go without?
My mind flashes backward to that first time I’d snuck down to the cell and witnessed the way she’d slapped at herself in frustration. Suddenly, Igetwhat she was feeling in that moment. It’d been about a loss of control over her circumstances. Much like her, I have no say in anything transpiring within this compound, and I’m creeping closer to the edge of my sanity.
With my head propped up by my hand, I drag the spoon through the rapidly cooling oatmeal. I should be eating it, if only to keep up my strength so that I’m able to complete the tasks of the day. I know that, but can’t bring myself to do so. Swallowing hard, I wish fervently for a way to change things around here.
Since I’m wholly uninterested in the conversation going on at the other end of the table, I allow my mind to wander further, recalling yesterday morning and the satisfaction I’d derived from having Delilah’s body on mine and the curve of her hips in my hands. In those stolen moments, I’d been happy. And I think she had been too… As happy as she could be while trapped here, anyway. My face heats as I recall every second of it, including what’d happened right before I left the cell. At first, I’d been embarrassed to have spilled my seed in my pants just from the feel of her moving on top of me. But now? I couldn’t care less. I just want to see her again, to be certain she’s okay. To know she doesn’t hate me. It’s nearly my undoing that I have no idea what the Collective will decide to do with her today.
I rub an anguished hand over my face, spooning up some of the oatmeal, and forcing it into my mouth. It sits on my tongue like an unwelcome mound of mud. Based on how things had gone yesterday, we’re about to work more long, brutal hours down at the bridge site, and as much as it pains me to do it, I have to fuel my body.
For a while, I successfully ignore whatever Dragan and Gannon are going on about, stuck inside my own misery. But then, the odd noises they’re making finally begin to catch my attention. The volume increases to the point where I can’tnotlook. My eyes flick toward them. Rafe looks on, clearly uncomfortable, while Gannon and Dragan make these awful, throaty, garbled shouts and moans. I can’t decipher what he’s saying, though it sounds like one of the words might benoover and over again. And the other is definitelyDelilah.Fuck.This is about me. My nightmare. Eyes crashing shut, I wince, wondering if either of them even understands that what they’re saying is a name. I sure as fuck hope not.
When Gannon realizes I’m watching, his amusedgaze pins directly on me. “Bad night, freak?” He snorts with laughter. At his side, Dragan is practically busting a gut while he continues to groan and grunt as he has a good laugh at my expense. Rafe looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here and is ready to bolt if they don’t stop soon. He keeps nervously checking for my reaction. I’m sure he’s wondering just how long I’ll let this go on before I do something. Or maybe theyallassume I’ll do what I normally do and walk the fuck away. My jaw tightens, and I exhale sharply through my nose. Motherfuckers just won’t let up. As if the two of them shaking me awake as I screamed while still stuck inside a horrifying nightmare wasn’t enough for one day, I physically feel heat rise in my face as it begins to redden.
Beside me, I can practically hear Evren’s teeth grinding, and I glance his way. He’s having difficulty hiding his irritation. Surprise shoots through me. He’s usually calm and levelheaded… or at least hides his true feelings better than this. We’re a lot alike in that respect.
Not wanting the situation to escalate, I meet his eyes, giving a swift jerk of my head with a furrowed brow. “It’s fine,” I mumble. “They’re not worth it.” Evren nods, but his lips pinch together. He presses a hand to his chest, rubbing it. My eyes narrow.What’s this?
Gannon shifts his sly eyes to my younger brother. “Ooh, still trying to be the big, brave man, huh?” he quips with a sick smile.
“What the fuck?” I mutter under my breath, exhaling hard. Evren’s been a little off, kinda withdrawn and contemplative, ever since yesterday afternoon. From the glare he’s throwing their direction, I’m curious as to whether they’ve done something to upset him. Knowing them, it’s not too much of a stretch.
Before I can say anything else, Dragan huffs, “Didn’t look so big and bad in front of the girl, though, did you, kid? Stood there with his rock-hard dick and had no idea what to do with it.” He snorts for good measure.
With that, I burst from my seat. “Leave him the fuck alone. Both of you,” I growl, aiming a steel-eyed glare in their direction. Nothing grates worse on my nerves than when they pick on the younger boys. I’m capable of taking whatever they dish out without complaint, let it roll off my back. I’m able to simply ignore them when they fuck with me, mostly anyway, but my brother hasn’t learned yet how to take it on the chin and not let it affect him.
Hayze chooses that moment to walk in and stops dead as the undercurrents of fuckery flow around him. “What’s going on?”
“Oh nothing.” Dragan smirks as he ribs Gannon. “Just having a little chat with Evie about the birds and the bees.”
Hayze’s gaze flicks to mine. I simply shake my head, so he moves toward his brothers, an authoritative scowl marring his face. “Don’t cause trouble. We have enough issues around here.”
Dragan nods. “You’re so right, Hayze. So incredibly wise.” He wets his lips, an odd light in his eyes.
The sound of an argument drawing closer is the only thing that distracts all of us. Low voices seething with anger echo all the way down the hall. I frown, glancing at Hayze, my brows raising. It’s Cross and Malakai. Those two are like a pot ready to boil over on the best of days, so I follow Hayze as he hurries into the hall to see what’s going on.
“You’re not right in the head. Back off,” Malakai hisses, furious.
That’s followed immediately by Cross’s gritted response. “Mine’s screwed on better than—” I don’t catch the rest of it as we hurry toward the chaos.
“Fuck off. I mean it.”
“Ha ha. You’d—” And whatever else Cross said is lost beneath the audible scuffle.
“Cut it out.”
“Fuckin’ make me. You know you want to.”
My brows raise at that last bit as we turn the corner. Still a ways down the hall, the two of them are standing nose to nose, breathing heavily. Malakai’s fair skin is pink with anger, and Cross’s flinty hazel eyes are full of fire as if he’d like nothing better than to tackle him to the floor and beat the snot out of him. Malakai glares, pushing Cross away by the shoulders. “I said drop it, dammit. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Cross’s brow arches high on his forehead in response as he plants his hands on his hips. “You never want to talk about anything important. When are yougoing to wake the fuck up?” A lethal glare passes between them.
