Inside me, an unexpected storm of emotion has come out of nowhere. I let it bruise me. Batter me. Internally, every bit of me is whipped into a frenzy and frantic. Giving into the need to just let go, I chase the feeling, grinding down on him to increase the friction between our bodies. A whimper leaves my lips at the sensations that begin to crash through me.
My fingers claw at him, my body full of an ache to be closer, and I open my eyes to find him staring intently back at me. It makes me jerk, then ease away, disoriented as I blink, studying the shadows of his face, the possessive, protective way his arms hold me.
“I feel you,” he rasps. “Every hitch of your breath.Every whimpered moan.” The connection between us as he watches me is almost too much. I don’t know what to do with this level of intensity. His lips find mine, demanding that I join him in a carnal dance. I don’t understand what he’s unleashing within me, but I need him. With every nip and lick and suck, he’s dragging me into his orbit like he’s the earth and I’m his moon.
Between my legs, his cock is hard and thick, and he’s eager, nudging upward with it, making himself groan aloud. Angling his head, he changes gears. Teeth meet my skin, scraping along my jaw. A shuddering breath tears free from my lips. Oh, god. He’s going to devour me whole. Something about that idea sets me off, and I meet his ferocity with my own, savagely holding him to me while my tongue plunders his mouth.
When we finally come up for air, he shakes his head, his lip curling. On a gasp, he growls again, “What the fuck are you doing to me?” My clit flutters at the question, and rather than waiting for an answer, he dives in for yet another kiss, and it’s nothing short of feral. Brutal. And so fucking heady, I almost forget who I am and what I’m doing.
His fingers dive under the dress and between my legs. They stroke along sensitive skin, setting off sparks of pleasure where I wouldn’t have thought there could possibly be anything that felt this good so soon after the way I was punished this morning, especially since he had a hand in that. What is wrong with me? Therational part of me knows that what happened wasn’t my fault. And… just maybe… it knows it wasn’t his either. But still, my body is responding in ways I wouldn’t have expected. With every hungry collision of our mouths, my heart beats harder and harder.
I feel like I’m flying apart. My eyes widen at the aching moan that falls from my lips, and I clutch at his shoulders. He jerks to a stop, lips hovering near mine as we breathe together. The knowledge that his fingers are where so many others were today seems to knock both of us off center, and my head spins.
“How can you let me—” he grits out, breath ragged. “How can you want me?” I grind down against those probing fingers, and he searches my eyes.
The answer is actually simple. “I need this. The touch of someone who isn’t trying to hurt me or claim me or punish me.” The words spill from my lips in a rush like a waterfall over rocks, tumbling forth with ease and absolutely uncontrollable. “I don’t want to think about what happened earlier. Take me somewhere else, Malakai. Please.” And even though there could also be purpose behind what I’m doing—a desperate need to have another person on my side—there’s also no denying the truth. I am being selfish. Right at this very moment, I need him to take me away from this horrible place and everything that has happened.
In the next breath, he’s several knuckles deep inside my body, stroking me as my back arches, and I fall headlong into bliss. Those satiny lips of his skim downmy neck, sucking on my flesh and making me squirm with need. I feel hot all over as I rock, fucking myself on his fingers, impatient. It feels so good, I could cry. And when he palms my breast, my head drops back on my shoulders, and I press forward into his touch, eager for him to give me something that will calm the wildness that is overtaking my body.
His rough hands provide friction to my nipple through the sheer fabric of the gown. A rough growl sounds as he lowers his head, replacing his hand with his mouth, and a shiver rockets through my body as he laps at the taut bud, wetting the material before sucking on me. I claw at his shoulders as a sharp zing travels from my breast straight down between my legs, and I let out a ragged cry of pleasure.
I tuck my lip between my teeth, as insanity streaks through me, and my fingers rush to find the fastening at his waistband. He’s watching every move I make as I fumble to get his pants undone, and one tattered breath after another spills from his lips. Slipping my hand inside, I bypass his underwear and take out his cock. It’s hot in my hand, but the skin is velvet smooth, and the weight is heavy. As I run my thumb over the head, he releases a soft grunt. “Fuck. What is it about you?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.” I swallow. “Please.”
His brows furrow as he gives me a quizzical stare.
My eyes plead. “I need—” On a hard exhale, I try again. “I need something today to bemydecision.”With my free hand, I cup his cheek, and he tilts his head downward toward me.
Leaning forward until our foreheads meet, he whispers, “I understand.”
I bite my lip, let my chest heave as all caution is thrown to the wind. “I trust you.” And then I rise, notching the head of his dick at my entrance. I’m full-on trembling as he stares me dead in the eye, and with a nod, encourages me to sink down onto his hard length.
The way he stretches me is unreal, and I forcefully yank my thoughts to the present, focusing on the way he’s looking at me with desire and need. A quiet groan spills from his lips as I slide up and down his shaft, and soon I’m panting, breathless. Tension coils tighter and tighter in my core, and I’m so wet, the soundtrack to what we’re doing is downright sinful.
Through it all, I can tell he’s holding back, his jaw clenched as he watches me move. With one hand firmly on my hip, he slips the other between us and slowly begins to circle my clit with the pads of his fingers. My lips part as my heart picks up its pace. It feels too good, and I know he feels the same by the low moans that fill the air.
I ache. What we’re doing is threatening to turn me inside out. With every touch, he’s demanding pieces of me that I may not have left to give. Frustration mounts within me as my blood pumps hard through my veins, the sound of it rushing through my head in steady bursts. I close my eyes and crush my mouth to his, letting this moment of intense delirium crash over me.
We begin to claw and scratch, desperately coming undone. I nip at him, he bites. We tear into each other.Unleash.
Desperate to be free, my emotions fly from the prison they’ve been locked inside. Does he understand what this has been like for me, why I need this from him? I think he might be the one best suited to understand what I’m going through. And while it probably shouldn’t matter to me what he’s thinking at all, a part of me wants him to get it.
I throw my head back and give in, letting the mania overtake all conscious thought. I surrender, untethered, and bask in the carnage of this unexpected bliss.
EIGHTEEN
CROSS
As I standin the doorway of our bedroom, pondering what course of action to take, my gaze wanders. Dragan and Gannon, the fucking dickheads, are nowhere to be found.Where the hell did they go?I tighten my hands into fists, feeling the pull of the broken skin and the bruising from laying into the two of them earlier. Fuck. What if I hadn’t shown up when I did? The thought of what else Delilah may have endured makes me sick to my stomach. And now? She’s been left outside all day and half into the night. All we’ve been able to do is watch and make sure no one else ventured near her.
My eyes flick briefly over Rafe before landing on Evren, and I wince. Poor guy. He’d tried to help her, but he was simply no match for Gannon and Dragan together. He’d taken a beating and has been mostly quiet since, choosing not to inform the Collective. I’m not certain that’s the best decision, but he’d begged menot to talk to Nolan. I think he’s embarrassed he couldn’t handle the situation. Or maybe he feels shame that he was found talking to her? Not sure. I shrug. I definitely need to talk to Arrow about it because it’s clear Evren won’t.
My attention shifts to Arrow across the room. He’s been in a horrible state much of the day. I’m actually surprised he’s in his bed and fully passed out. I’m no idiot, though. If he hasn’t already been out to see Delilah, he’s got a plan in his head for how he’ll manage it.
My jaw works as I glance over to Hayze’s bunk. After witnessing the pull between him and Delilah earlier, the fact that he’s sound asleep is telling. Life around here has turned on its head again in the last day, and it’s taken a toll on all of us.
Finally, I angle my gaze to stare at Malakai’s empty bed for a count of ten before pivoting to quietly close the door behind me.If I were Kai, where would I be?For reasons I’d rather not think about right now, he’s especially on my mind tonight… and I have a feeling I know where he is. Maybe that’s because he’s whereIwant to be.
